King Of Fighters 2001 Female Fighters Story EX3
by Ben Jonas
Summary: Mayhem and hijinx ensue as new teams are formed.


Prelude: Following the critical success of The King Of Fighters 2001 Female Fighters Story EX2, I decided to continue the series and write another offbeat chapter. Since this chapter is incredibly long, however (weighing in at a whopping 100 pages!), I've decided to break it up into sections in order to space things out. Again, this is a very long chapter, so pace yourself, and try not to get through it all in one sitting. Now, on with the show!  
  
Disclaimer: The King of Fighters Disclaimer: The King of Fighters and all it's characters are owned by and copywrite SNK Neo-Geo/Playmore (long live SNK!) and Eolith.  
  
Ben Jonas presents:  
  
The King Of Fighters 2001 Female Fighters Story EX: Part 3- Shingo In Love  
  
Prologue: One week has passed since the events in EX and EX2. Since then, Shingo, Kula, and Chris have all made themselves at home at the Todoh residence. In order to not fall behind on his schoolwork, Shingo has become a foreign exchange student at Kasumi's high school, while Chris and Kula have kept themselves busy by tending to the household chores. Meanwhile, Kyo and Yuki have left the confines of Japan to take their free vacation in Maui, Hawaii. Elsewhere, all sorts of teams (both old and new) have been formed. Our story begins on an early Thursday morning at the Todoh household.  
  
Section 01- Breakfast!  
  
Being a real estate agent isn't easy. Just ask Marlene Oxnard Todoh (wife of Ryuhaku Todoh). She had to spend a few days (and a lot of long hours) trying to sell the Samson estate on Booze Hill to the Carmichaels. It took a lot of effort, but she was able to sell the property. However, such victories come with a price (she ended up having to sell the house for less than it was actually worth). In addition, her next assignment wasn't exactly something worth looking forward to (she now had to try and convince an elderly couple to buy the Whitney murder house on Bloodlust Lane). Unable to get much sleep from having faced a double whammy on that Wednesday, she awoke at about 6:30am. Groggy and still half-asleep, she lumbered toward the kitchen, only to see a sight that would wake anyone faster than a triple latte injection.  
  
Shingo: Oh! Good morning, Mrs. Todoh.  
  
Mrs. Todoh *surprised*: What are you kids doing up so early?!  
  
Chris: Isn't it obvious? We're making breakfast.  
  
Shingo: We've been up since 6:00am trying to prepare breakfast. Care for a cup of coffee? *hands Marlene a cup of coffee*  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Sure. *thinking to herself while drinking coffee* I'm impressed. Ever since coming here, Kasumi's friends have really helped out around the house. Those kids never cease to amaze me. Now, if they could only help me sell the Whitney murder house.  
  
30 Minutes Later.  
  
Chris: There! All finished! Breakfast is served! *shows off a table loaded with various breakfast goods, including omelets, bagels, and pancakes, among other things*  
  
Mrs. Todoh *surprised*: Wow! Very nice work, you two!  
  
Shingo & Chris: Thanks!  
  
Outside, Ryuhaku Todoh was training. Ever since being defeated by Ryo Sakazaki many years ago, he had worked hard to perfect the Todoh fighting style. Since then, he had had many different odd jobs (ranging from tour guide, to waiter, to museum curator, to voice actor, and so forth), yet his passion to surpass the art of Kyokugen had never faded. He started every morning with vigorous training exercises, and today was no different. Picking up a giant rock and tossing it into the air, he was about to slice it in half with his "Ecstasy Crunch", when suddenly.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Ryuhaku! Breakfast!  
  
The statement distracted Ryuhaku, and the rock that he had tossed landed only a few inches away from where his was, nearly giving him a heart attack. Shaken, but not stirred, he went inside to have breakfast.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Good morning, dear. Are you all right? You look like you nearly got hit by a giant rock.  
  
Mr. Todoh: How did you know?  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Probably because I heard a loud "THUD!" outside.  
  
Mr. Todoh: *notices giant breakfast spread* Amazing! Did you make all that by yourself?  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Actually, Chris and Shingo prepared it all.  
  
Mr. Todoh *surprised*: Impressive! It all looks so delectable!  
  
Shingo & Chris: Thanks!  
  
Mr. Todoh: Now, if only I could convince Kasumi to prepare breakfast for me every morning.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Speaking of which, I'd better go wake up Kasumi and Kula while breakfast is still hot and fresh.  
  
Meanwhile, in Kasumi's room, Kula was having a nightmare. Ever since destroying the Zero Cannon in the King of Fighters 2000 tournament, she kept on having the same nightmare. The basic outline would be the same; Candy sacrificing herself so that Kula could live. Only this time, however, things appeared to be a little different.  
  
*cue dream sequence*  
  
On a desolate, snowy field, Kula searched desperately for whatever remains of Candy she could find.  
  
Kula: Candy! Where are you?!  
  
Suddenly, she came across something buried in a mound of snow. Upon digging, she discovered it was Candy's disembodied head.  
  
Kula: CANDY! *sob* Please. don't die on me!  
  
Candy *dying*: K-Ku.la.?  
  
Kula *crying*: Yes?  
  
Candy: You. are one ugly girl!  
  
Kula *shocked*: WHAT?!?  
  
Suddenly, a bunch of disembodied heads arose from the snow.  
  
Elaine Vassal: She's right, you know. You are quite ugly.  
  
Kula *shocked*: What the?! Elaine Vassal? Richard Fish? Ally McBeal? Billy Thomas? John Cage? Ling Woo? Georgia Thomas? Renee Radick?  
  
Ling Woo: Who's this hideous abomination?  
  
John Cage: That's Kula Diamond, the ugliest girl in the world.  
  
Richard Fish: Ugly is an understatement. She's grotesque!  
  
Georgia Thomas: She's not even worthy of being Miss Alabama.  
  
Ally McBeal: I may be slim, but at least my odds of getting a man aren't even as slim as yours.  
  
Renee Radick: Girl, not even a total makeover can save you now.  
  
Kula *shocked*: Wha.What is the meaning of all of this?!  
  
Candy: It's simple. You're an ugly girl.  
  
All the disembodied heads formed a line; Candy's head leapt out of Kula's arms and rolled toward the center of the line.  
  
*spotlight shines on Candy* *all the heads start rocking back and forth*  
  
Candy *singing*: Ooh! She's so ugly. Aw yeah! She's an ugly girl. Ooh! She's so ugly. Aw yeah! She's an ugly girl.  
  
Everyone Else *singing*:  
  
Na na na na na na na na naaa  
  
Ooh whoa. Ooh whoa-ohhh. Na na na na na na na na naaa Ooh whoa. Ooh whoa-ohhh.  
  
Kula: STOP MAKING FUN OF MEEEEEEE!!!  
  
Suddenly, Kula woke up.  
  
*end dream sequence*  
  
Kula *dazed*: Huh? It was all just a dream. *breathes sigh of relief* Thank goodness!  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Kasumi! Kula! Breakfast!  
  
Kula: Oh my gosh! I'd better wake Kasumi.  
  
Kasumi *half-asleep*: I'm already awake. Let me guess: you had that weird dream about Candy again, didn't you?  
  
Kula *surprised*: How did you.?  
  
Kasumi: You were shouting in your sleep; it woke me up. You probably should see a therapist about those recurring nightmares.  
  
Kula: Thanks for the suggestion, but I'd rather not talk about my problems to a balding guy with squiggly vision. Anyways, we'd better get a move-on. Breakfast is ready.  
  
Shortly after getting dressed, Kasumi and Kula raced down the stairs and into the kitchen.  
  
Kula *surprised*: Whoa! Look at this assortment!  
  
Kasumi: Mom, did you make all of that?  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Actually, it was Shingo and Chris who made breakfast this morning.  
  
Kasumi *surprised*: You're kidding!  
  
Chris: I can't help it. I like to cook.  
  
Shingo: Same here. Whenever I spent the night at Kusanagi-san's house, I'd always cook a good breakfast for his family the following morning.  
  
40 minutes later.  
  
Kasumi: There's the bus! Bye Mom! Bye Dad!  
  
Grabbing their backpacks, Shingo and Kasumi hurried out of the house and on to the bus.  
  
Mr. Todoh: Well, I'd better get going. I've got a lot of work ahead of me, especially since we start recording a crucial episode today. Farewell. *kisses his wife on the cheek*  
  
Ryuhaku Todoh left for work via the South-Hound Bus.  
  
20 minutes later.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: I'm off to work. You kids know what to do, right?  
  
Chris: Take care of the chores, don't talk to any telemarketers, and kick any door-to-door salesmen in the nuts.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: You got it. See you at 5:00pm! *leaves for work via the family car*  
  
Chris: Time to get to work.  
  
Kula: Hey, at least it beats minesweeping.  
  
Section 02- I Had A Dream About A Garage Sale  
  
7:00am  
  
At the Ikari Warriors Southtown Base, Leona was in the midst of a nightmare.  
  
*begin dream sequence*  
  
Young Leona *singing*: La la la! I'm baking a delicious cake for my Mommy and Daddy's anniversary! La la la de da!  
  
Suddenly, a mysterious figure appeared in front of her.  
  
Goenitz: Excuse me, little girl. Your cake looks like a little dull.  
  
Young Leona: It does?  
  
Goenitz: What it needs are some giant sparkly candles. *places giant sticks of dynamite around the cake* When your parents are about to blow out the candles, duck for cover, and they'll be a big surprise.  
  
Young Leona: Oh. Okay! *walks over to her parents' house with dynamite cake in tow*  
  
Minutes later.  
  
Young Leona: Surprise! Happy anniversary, Mommy and Daddy! *presents cake to them* Make a wish.  
  
Just as Leona's parents were about to blow out the cake.  
  
Goenitz: 3, 2, 1! Blast off! *pulls down detonator switch* *explosion kills everyone except for young Leona*  
  
Goenitz: HA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Young Leona *crying*: WAAAAAAAHH!!!  
  
*end dream sequence*  
  
Just then, Leona awoke in a cold sweat.  
  
Leona: Goenitz! Oh wait. He's dead. *smiles* Let's see if I can do better than that. *falls back asleep*  
  
*begin dream sequence*  
  
Leona *in 80s aerobics gear, singing*: I'm a maniac, maniac, on the floor. And I'm dancing like I've never danced before.  
  
*end dream sequence*  
  
Leona *awake*: Okay, that didn't go over too well.  
  
Present time (8:30am).  
  
Heidern *via Comm-Link*: Leona, gather Ralf and Clark and report to the Briefing Room on the double.  
  
Leona: Understood, sir.  
  
Inside of Clark's room, Clark was watching the tape of Whip's final message (which was retrieved by the Ikari Warriors nearly eight months ago). The video was footage from an episode of "TRL", which contained the Bop N' Guys music video "B'cuz I Luv U".  
  
Whip: Hi! My name is Whip, from Staten Island, New York, and I voted for "B'cuz I Luv U" by the Bop N' Guys because A.J. is such a hottie! WOOOOO!  
  
Ralf Jones: Hey, Clark! You've been watching that same video for the past two months now. Are you sure you're all right?  
  
Clark Steele: Damn, that Whip's got a nice midriff!  
  
Ralf: *slaps Clark in the back of the head*: Get your mind out of the gutter and let's go! Leona wants us to report to the Briefing Room.  
  
At the Briefing Room:  
  
Heidern: At ease, people. Thanks to the success of our recent garage sale in Southtown, we've pulled ourselves out of our budget crisis and can now resume preparations for the King of Fighters 2001 tournament in Osaka, Japan. With Whip M.I.A. since last year, I will not only be the fourth member on the team this year, I will also resume my role as active leader of the Ikari Warriors team. Plus, this'll give me the chance to work off this beer belly I've had for the past year.  
  
Leona: Let me help you with that, sir. *performs Grateful Dead DM on Heidern, transferring the beer belly from Heidern on over to Leona*  
  
Heidern: Thanks. I'll take that back now. *performs Storm Bringer on Leona, transferring Leona's fat to Heidern's upper body, which changes into muscle*  
  
Ralf: This is freaking me out. Wanna go grab a breakfast burrito?  
  
Clark: You're on.  
  
Heidern: Hold it! Where do you think you two are going?  
  
Ralf: Uh, to the cafeteria, sir.  
  
Heidern: It looks like both of you have been eating one too many doughnuts lately. Allow me to introduce you to my weight loss program! *performs Storm Bringer on both of them* Leona, you're dismissed.  
  
Leona *thinking to herself*: That was weird. I'd better go for a walk to clear my head.  
  
Leona exited the base and went out for a walk around the city.  
  
Section 03- "Sweetcheeks"  
  
9:00am  
  
At the Southtown Construction Yard:  
  
Terry Bogard: Hey Fred! Feeling better?  
  
Fred Boggs: Yeah. I'm still a little sore, but I'm holding up okay. I took a real beating from that Ice Cream Lady last week, but like many beatings I've received from women in the past, I always manage to recover from them.  
  
Terry: Only to come back for more punishment. You know, if you stopped making rude comments/gestures at women and started acting a little more polite, you'd probably be able to live a little longer.  
  
Fred: Yeah, but then again, I'm on a first-name basis with the doctors at the hospital, so at least I never have to wait in line.  
  
Terry: Yeah, right, Mr. "I've-been-given-a-restraining-order-from-every- nurse-in-said-hospital" Boggs. Anyways, how are things going with you and Rock?  
  
Fred: Great. The kid's a genius. He's only in the first grade, and yet he can write full sentences, do math, even spell long words. And yet, he always talks about you. Every day, I hear the same question from him: "How's Terry doing?". And I always say "Fine". I think the kid's grown attached to you.  
  
Terry: Well, shucks. I'm just teaching him what I know, making sure he doesn't become like his mean old dad, that's all. Nothing special.  
  
Fred: Don't worry. As the illegitimate cousin of Geese Howard, I can assure you that. hey! Who's the new guy and what's that he's eating?  
  
Terry: That's Paul Laude. He's been filling in for you since last week while you were in the hospital. We all call him "Sweetcheeks". He's having a yorass for breakfast.  
  
Fred: What's that?  
  
Terry: It's a breakfast pastry consisting of buttermilk bread, strawberry jam, and cream cheese.  
  
Fred: Sounds good. *to Paul* Hey! Sweetcheeks! I want a piece of yorass!  
  
Overhearing that statement while walking by (and angered by it), Leona turned around and tossed her "Earring Bomb" at Fred. The explosion knocked him off of the girders and sent him falling down into a pile of sand.  
  
Terry: Fred! Are you hurt? Can you move?  
  
Fred: I'm a little charred, and I've got sand in my pants, but I'm OK. Wanna go grab a Mike's Hard Lemonade?  
  
Terry: But it's only 9:05.  
  
Fred: I said, do you wanna go grab a Mike's Hard LEMONADE?!  
  
Terry: Uh, no thanks.  
  
Fred: Your loss. I'm heading off to Rad's Diner to check out the new waitress.  
  
Terry: Oh, Fred. *shakes head left and right*  
  
Section 04- MTV Blues  
  
11:05am  
  
Two hours later, at the Todoh household, Kula and Chris had finished their household chores for the day and decided to partake in America's favorite pastime: watching TV.  
  
Chris: All right! Work's done! Time to see what's on MTV. *turns on TV*  
  
Kurt Loder: Hi! I'm Kurt Loder with an MTV news brief. Rock group CYS has made a dramatic return to the spotlight following their mysterious disappearance two years ago. A press conference was held early yesterday. In it, lead guitarist Yashiro Nanakase discussed the band's sudden revival, the addition of two new band members, and the reasons why Chris Cristobal left the group.  
  
Chris *shocked*: What the hell...?!  
  
Kula: Your last name is Cristobal?  
  
Chris: Yeah. I dropped my last name after people started rubbing my head to see if they could see into the future.  
  
Yashiro Nanakase: After being away for so long, I can proudly say that we're back to give the current music scene a swift kick in the ass! Next question.  
  
Jim Moxey: Yes. Jim Moxey, Spun Magazine. Isn't it true that, at one point, you and your fellow band mates wanted to take over the world, and, unless I am mistaken, wanted to resurrect Orochi?  
  
Yashiro: Well, I won't lie to you, Jim. Yes, Shemie, Chris, and I wanted to purify the planet of all humans, but we were under the control of Orochi at that time. Furthermore, we nearly brought about Orochi's revival when we committed suicide, but thanks to Kyo Kusanagi, Iori Yagami, and Chizuru Kagura, his return was halted, and thus, we were freed from Orochi's control. Two years after that event, Orochi brought myself and my friends back to life, saying that we deserved a second chance at life, this time no longer under his control. So, that explains everything up until now. Next question.  
  
Rene Sampson: Hi. Rene Sampson, Daily Blurb. What happened to Chris, and why isn't he a part of this press conference?  
  
Shermie: I can field this one. Sadly, the pressures of rockstardom and fame had taken their toll on our young friend, and shortly after being brought back to life, he wanted to go back to school. So now, he's currently taking classes at Red Skelton Junior High School in Youngston, Ohio, and staying with a foster family, in the hopes of finally being able to lead a normal life.  
  
Chris *angered*: WHAT?!? That's a damn lie and you know it!!  
  
Tom Davies: Tom Davies, Rock On! Magazine. This question's for Vice and Mature. How did you two get resurrected? I could've sworn that Iori Yagami murdered you following the King of Fighters '96 tournament. Also, what lead you to decide to join CYS?  
  
Vice: Good questions, Tom. Yes, Mature and I were killed by Iori, but as Yashiro mentioned, much like the New Faces trio, we swore allegiance to Orochi and were resurrected by him as his final act. So, that explains that. Mature?  
  
Mature: As for your second question, Tom, Vice and I had had quite a bit of band practice back in high school and in college. At one point early on in college, we were in an all-girl rock band called "Cinnamon Twist", but alas, we had to drop the dream in order to pursue a business major. We decided to join CYS because we were out of a job and wanted to see if we had retained our rock skills from our teenage years. Allow us to demonstrate.  
  
The two walked over to a stage where a guitar and drums were set up. The duo played "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" by Joan Jett.  
  
Chris *shocked*: NO! Not "I Love Rock 'n' Roll"! Those harpies are butchering one of my personal favorites!  
  
*crowd applauds*  
  
Chris *shocked*: WHAT?!? They liked it?!  
  
Kula: You gotta admit, it was a pretty good cover.  
  
Kurt Loder: Yashiro later mentioned that the band was changing its' name to YMVS, in order to accommodate the new members of the band. Recording for the band's newest album is set to begin next month. In other news, the Bop N' Guys' newest album, "Baby Baby Baby", debuted at #1 on this week's Billboard Charts, with the album's hit single, "So Hot Yet So Sweet" coming in at #1 on the Billboard Hot 100. Dropping one spot to number 2 this week is Lina Love's debut album, "Candy Candy Candy", followed closely by Scottish-Norwegian rapper Zippy's second album, "I Made Love To Your Sister And Her 17 Year-Old Cousin, Too". In at a not-too-distant fourth is Piro And Largo's debut album, "2 l33t 4 j00r luv", with Spanish sensation AndréA's third album, "Mamacita!", rounding out the top five. That's the news for now. *TV is turned off*  
  
Chris *seething with anger*: ARRRRR!! This is unbelievable! It was bad enough getting kicked off the team, but getting tossed in favor of Vice and Mature and making them actual band members?! They are SO dead! If I ever face Vice and Mature in this year's tournament, I'm going to beat the snot out of them and take a steaming hot whiz all over their unconscious bodies!  
  
Kula: Ewww! Too much information!  
  
Chris *calming down*: Sorry about that. I tend to lose my head whenever stuff like this happens to me.  
  
Kula: I wouldn't worry too much. Recording doesn't start for another month, and that should give you plenty of time to try and change their minds. Plus, the King of Fighters 2001 tournament starts in just over a week. That should be your golden opportunity to convince them to let you back on the bandwagon.  
  
Chris: You're right. For now, I think we should take a walk to Japantown to ease my mind. Want to come?  
  
Kula: Sure! I've always wondered what it would be like to walk in a big city without constantly being hounded by adults. Let's go!  
  
With that, Kula and Chris headed off for the Japantown section of Southtown.  
  
Section 05- Big Boss, No Whammies. Stop!  
  
11:05am  
  
Elsewhere, at Geese Tower in Southtown:  
  
Ripper *to Billy*: Big Boss wants to see you. He doesn't look too pleased.  
  
Billy Kane *thinking to himself*: Uh-oh! Looks like he found out that I switched his regular coffee with Folger's decaf.  
  
Gesse Howard: Billy?  
  
Billy: Yeah, Boss?  
  
Geese: You're fired.  
  
Billy *shocked*: WHAT?!?!?!?  
  
Geese: HA! HAHAHAHAHA! Just kidding!  
  
Billy *irritated*: Don't scare me like that!  
  
Geese: *Ahem!* Anyways, the real reason why I called you in here is because I've got a special assignment for you. N.E.S.T.S. has been a thorn in my side for the past year now. Before last year, I dismissed them as a minor threat, but after last year's destruction of Bumsville and Telemarketer's Lane, I have reason to believe that they're an endangerment to my continued rule over Southtown. I want you to form your own team and enter the King of Fighters 2001 tournament in Osaka, Japan. Once there, infiltrate N.E.S.T.S.' activities, find their secret bases, and use whatever weaponry they have against them. As for any other threats that you may encounter, well, leave those to the King of Fighters contestants. Understood?  
  
Billy: Yes sir, Boss!  
  
Geese: Good. *hands Billy an unmarked folder* I want you to locate the three people contained in this folder. They will serve as your teammates. Use whatever methods you can to convince them to join your team. Do not fail me, Billy, or you will lose your job for real. Ripper, Hopper, please escort Billy out of my office.  
  
Minutes later, outside of Geese Tower:  
  
Billy: *looks inside folder* So, Ryuji Yamazaki, Eiji Kisaragi, and Laurence Blood are my teammates. This is going to be like old times.  
  
Section 06- Protesting, Complaining, It's All The Same  
  
11:05am  
  
A couple miles away, outside of Kagura Global Industries Southtown building:  
  
Limo Driver: Oh great! Boss, it looks like we can't enter the building. A whole bunch of protestors are blocking the entrance.  
  
Rosa Himura: What are they protesting about?  
  
Chizuru Kagura: Nothing in particular. Many of these people have nothing better to do.  
  
Bodyguard: I'm guessing many of these people spilled over from San Francisco?  
  
Chizuru: Ding! Ding! Ding! Look for a nice little bonus in your next paycheck. Rosa, you know what to do.  
  
Rosa: Right, Ms. Kagura. Stealth mode! *activates cloaking device and gets out of the limo*  
  
In an instant, Rosa began attacking the protesting crowd.  
  
Protestor 1: We're being attacked by an invisible force!  
  
Protestor 2: Invisible force? That must mean. oh no! Frodo's wearing the One Ring! We're all doomed! RUN!  
  
Protestor 3 *stoned*: Heh-heh! My hand's changing coloOOF! *gets knocked out by Rosa's sword*  
  
Protestor 1: Retreat!  
  
Protestor 4: Where to?  
  
Protestor 1: Back to San Francisco. I hear they're opening up another Starbucks on a wildlife refuge. We can go protest there.  
  
In a matter of moments, all the protestors were gone, having fled back to San Francisco, and thus, the entrance was clear for Chizuru and associates to enter.  
  
Chizuru: Nice work, Rosa! Remind me to give you an extra special bonus at some point.  
  
Rosa: *turns off cloaking device* Thanks!  
  
Section 07- This Tastes Like Cat Pee!  
  
11:10am  
  
Elsewhere in Southtown.  
  
Chris *walking while looking at book*: According to the Fodor's Guide To Southtown, the quickest way to get to Japantown is to go through Ad Alley.  
  
Kula: Why do suppose they call it "Ad Alley"?  
  
Chris: Who knows? Your guess is as good as mine.  
  
Soon, the two arrived at Ad Alley.  
  
Kula: Something about this place gives me the creeps, and it isn't just the numerous talking billboards.  
  
Suddenly, Chris sensed a dark presence approaching them.  
  
Chris: Kula?  
  
Kula: Yes?  
  
Chris: RUN!!  
  
All of a sudden, a whole bunch of spokespeople emerged from various stores and started making their way towards the now-fleeing-in-terror Chris and Kula.  
  
Survey Person: Would you like to take a survey?  
  
Chris: NO! *knocks Survey Person out of the way*  
  
Sample Guy: Try new Curds And Hay. It's packed in it's own drool.  
  
Kula: YUCK! *freezes Sample Guy*  
  
Sample Guy *frozen*: Also. tastes great. frozen.  
  
Salesperson 1: Zero percent APR on all new SUVs!  
  
Salesperson 2: Subscribe to V Magazine and get a free sample of Oil Of Ole!  
  
Salesperson 3: Rent Rollerball 2 on DVD today!  
  
Salesperson 4: Vote for Governor Jim Paxton!  
  
Salesperson 5: Hi! Billy Hays here for Tangerine Clean!  
  
Chris and Kula blasted/pounded their way through various salespeople as they continued their mad dash towards the end of Ad Alley. Suddenly.  
  
Chris: Oh no! A firing squad of perfume ladies is blocking our escape!  
  
Lead Perfume Lady: Ready, ladies? Aim.  
  
Kula: Hang on, Chris! *creates sled out of sled* *Chris jumps in as the sled speeds towards the Perfume Ladies Firing Squad*  
  
Lead Perfume Lady: Fire!  
  
The speeding ice sled bowled the firing squad over before they could fire. However.  
  
Chris: Ahh! I'm hit! One of the perfumes ladies must've gotten me on the way down!  
  
Kula: *sniff* *sniff* Is that PK One I smell?  
  
As the sled neared the end of Ad Alley, a mysterious figure grabbed Chris and pulled him out of the sled.  
  
Kula: Chris!  
  
Chris: Go on without me! Save yourself!  
  
Kula: No way! As your teammate, I refuse to abandon you! *gets out of sled*  
  
Hiding behind an old discarded billboard, Kula watched as Chris was about to face an unspeakable evil.  
  
Cole Adguy *to Chris*: Hey kid! Have a taste of new Peptide One!  
  
Chris: Uh, okay. *drinks a can of Peptide One* Not bad.  
  
Cole Adguy: Now try Brand Y Cola.  
  
Chris: *drinks a can of Brand Y Cola; spits it out* Ugh! This stuff tastes like cat pee!  
  
Cole Adguy: And there you have it! More proof that Peptide One is America's favorite soft drink!  
  
Chris: Hey! Hold on a second. *dumps out contents of Brand Y Cola*  
  
Chris *horrified*: That stuff WAS cat pee!!  
  
Kula: Ewww! Gross!  
  
Cole Adguy: Yes, well. at least Peptide One taste better than cat pee, right?  
  
Chris *angered*: You made me drink cat pee!!  
  
Cole Adguy: So? What are you going to do about it? Run home to your mommy and cry about it? Get her to sue us? I'd like to see you try! *gets K.O.ed by Chris's flip kick*  
  
Peptide Representative 1: Hey! He just knocked out our spokesman!  
  
Peptide Representative 2: Let's get him!  
  
Kula: Oh no, you don't! *crushes the three Peptide representatives with a giant ice ball*  
  
Chris: Hey! Scope Guy! *Scope Guy tosses Chris a bottle of Scope*  
  
Kula: You OK, Chris? I mean, you did just drink cat urine.  
  
Chris: I'll be fine, in about two minutes.  
  
Section 08- Flashbackers  
  
Two minutes worth of gargling and spitting later.  
  
Kula: Feeling better?  
  
Chris: Yeah. Don't worry. I've had worse things happen to me before. One time, we were the opening act for Hole. The concert went great and all, but it was the after-party I'll never forget. Courtney Love was getting loaded up on Vodka, and I watched, worriedly, as she kept on downing shot after shot. A few minutes later, my worst fears were realized, as she grabbed me by the arm, said something (in a drunken state) along the lines of "I've never made out with a 14 year-old before.", and kissed me on the lips. I don't remember much after that, except for Yashiro rescuing me, and having to gargle a whole bottle of mouthwash to get the taste out of my mouth afterwards.  
  
Kula: I bet that was awful.  
  
Chris: Believe me, it was like tasting cigarette butts and garbage. What about you? What terrible things have happened to you when you were a member of N.E.S.T.S.?  
  
Kula: Well, there was the "Cake Experiment".  
  
*cue flashback to one year ago*  
  
Dr. Richard Sweet: Okay, Kula. Which cake look more tempting to you: frosted or non-frosted?  
  
Kula: Frosted. *gets hit in the back of the neck by a tranquilizer dart; falls unconscious*  
  
Dr. Richard Sweet: *places Kula's hand on top of non-frosted cake* *speaks into tape recorder* Dives right into the non-frosted cake.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Kula: Then, there was the N.E.S.T.S. Beach Party.  
  
*cue flashback to ten months ago*  
  
Agent Allen: Kula! Foxy! Diana! Report to Cancun at once!  
  
All Three: Roger!  
  
A couple hours later, in Cancun, Mexico:  
  
Agent Razek: Thank goodness you're here, Kula! This is a mission that only you can perform.  
  
Kula: What's the problem?  
  
Agent Razek: We need you to help keep the beer supply cold during the party.  
  
Kula *annoyed*: You sent me all the way here just so I can keep your drinks cold?!  
  
Agent Razek: You got it!  
  
Kula *as narrator*: I had to spend the next few hours keeping the numerous beer kegs cool while everyone else got to have fun. Had Diana and Foxy not gotten loaded on tequila shots, they probably would've rescued me from this nightmare. Hours later.  
  
Kula *fading fast*: Water! Need. water!  
  
Agent Razek: Sorry, kid. All we've got are beer, tequila, and Corona Extra, and we're not allowed to give alcohol to minors. Look on the bright side: at least this experience will help you build character.  
  
Kula *fading fast*: Can't. go. on. *passes out*  
  
Agent Razek: Kula? Kula! *pulls out walkie-talkie* Agent Razek to Med Team: Kula Diamond is down! Get her out of here and re-hydrated as soon as possible! Repeat: Kula Diamond is down!  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Chris: Geez! How horrible! Getting used and abused like that definitely won't build character.  
  
Kula: But that's not the worst thing that's happened to me.  
  
*cue flashback to seven months ago*  
  
Inside of the N.E.S.T.S. Training Facility:  
  
Dr. Reika Akatsuki *outside, speaking through loudspeaker*: Okay, Kula. Ready for your next opponent?  
  
Kula: I sure am! I'll mow him down just like your last creation: Moss Man.  
  
Dr. Akatsuki *outside, speaking through loudspeaker*: Very well, then. Bring out Johnny Charisma.  
  
Out of the bolted doors emerged Johnny Charisma: a handsome, well-built male model, genetically modified to have unlimited charm and massive appeal.  
  
Johnny Charisma *in soothing vocal tone*: Do you really want to hurt me, little lady?  
  
Dr. Akatsuki *to Kula*: What's wrong? Why aren't you fighting him?  
  
Kula *struggling*: I. can't! His charm is too powerful! *SOB!*  
  
Dr. Akatsuki: Excellent! He is the one! Johnny, report to the briefing room for "Operation: Soap Star" immediately.  
  
Johnny: Yes, M'am! Want to grab a cup of coffee, first?  
  
Dr. Akatsuki *charmed*: But of course, Johnny. Anything for you.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Chris: Wait a second! You mean to tell me that Johnny Charisma, the guy who plays Dr. Tyler Kurgan on "As The World Burns", and star of such blockbuster hits as "Manhattan Martini" and "Rose Revolution", is really a N.E.S.T.S. agent?!  
  
Kula: Yup. He certainly is.  
  
Chris: Wow! What a startling revelation. And here I thought that it was just his good looks that brought young women to their knees (and to his films). But how can meeting Johnny Charisma be your worst ever experience with N.E.S.T.S.?  
  
Kula: I'm not finished yet.  
  
*cue flashback*  
  
Kula *as narrator*: Five months ago, N.E.S.T.S. held a giant High School prom inside of a giant convention center in Baltimore, Maryland. Johnny Charisma was supposed to have been my date for the prom, but as we walked up to the ticket counter.  
  
Johnny Charisma: *notices a beautiful lady* Hey there, gorgeous! Want to be Johnny's special date for this evening?  
  
Alice Reed: I'd love to, Johnny! Tee-hee!  
  
Kula *shocked*: But Johnny, you promised to be MY special date for the prom!  
  
Johnny: Sorry, kid, but you're too young for me. Alice here, on the other hand, is only one year younger than me, and is more "well-equipped" than you are.  
  
Ticket Counter Guy: Sorry, Kula. You know the rules: no date, no ticket, no admission.  
  
Kula *crying*: JOHNNY, YOU BIG JERK! *SOB!* *runs out of the building, crying*  
  
Kula *as narrator*: As I ran out of the building, I knew that my night was ruined, having been dumped by Johnny Charisma in favor of someone older than me. Outside, hidden in the bushes.  
  
K': So, this is where N.E.S.T.S. is holding its big high school prom?  
  
Maxima: That's right. If we can execute this infiltration properly, we'll not only be able to gain access to a whole bunch of N.E.S.T.S. files, we'll also be able to take out a whole bunch of N.E.S.T.S. special agents in the process.  
  
Whip: Sounds like my kind of party. Anyone remember to R.S.V.P.?  
  
Maxima: I'm afraid not. Looks like we'll have to crash this party. Hold on a second! *turns binoculars towards the bench where Kula is* It's the Anti- K! And she's. crying?  
  
K': I'll handle this. *emerges from bushes and walks towards Kula*  
  
Maxima: What are you doing, K'?! You'll blow our cover!  
  
Whip: Let him go, Maxima. We'll handle this operation by ourselves. You got the dessert cart ready?  
  
Maxima: The only things sweeter than the desserts on top are the explosives hidden below. Let's make sure this prom goes out with a bang. *Whip and Maxima enter the convention center, disguised as caterers*  
  
K': What's the matter, little girl?  
  
Kula: I got dumped by my date for the prom, and now, I won't be able to dance with anyone. *notices K'* *GASP!* It's you! You're the one I'm supposed to kill!  
  
K': Yeah? So?  
  
Kula: N.E.S.T.S. told me so. But now, I don't feel like fighting, not after breaking up with the hottest guy at the prom.  
  
K': Wanna dance?  
  
Kula: What?!  
  
K': I said: do you want to dance?  
  
Kula: *shrugs* Okay.  
  
*the two dance to "Adia" by Sarah McLachlin*  
  
Kula *thinking to herself while dancing with K'*: I can't imagine why N.E.S.T.S. would want a guy like him dead. He feels so warm, so calm. I don't want this dance to end.  
  
K' *thinking to himself while dancing with Kula*: I can't believe this little girl defeated me last year, and yet, she moves so gracefully. Wait a second! I'm not supposed to give a damn about anything! What's happening to me?!  
  
Kula *as narrator*: Minutes later, the song ended, and so did our dance.  
  
K': *lets go of Kula* I gotta go.  
  
Kula: But why?  
  
Suddenly, a loud explosion could be heard (and seen) in the distance.  
  
K': That's why. So long, Kula.  
  
Kula: Wait! How do you know my name?  
  
K' *while running off into the distance*: It says so on your nametag!  
  
Kula *as narrator*: As K' dashed off into the moonlight, I felt a renewed sense of hope, like everything was going to be all right. What might've been an emotional disaster turned into my best night ever. And that's how I truly met K' for the first time. Since then, I've thought about him every day, looking forward to the day I get to meet him again.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Kula: From that moment on, even though I continued to do N.E.S.T.S.' bidding, I began questioning their motives, as well as my own role in their grand scheme of things. It wasn't until last week that I finally lost it and quit the team, but you already knew about that, right?  
  
Chris: Yeah. How could I forget?  
  
Section 09- Dunce Cap  
  
11:15am  
  
Meanwhile, in Los Angeles, California, the New Faces Four team was driving around L.A., planning where their next stop might be. Inside of the YMVS van:  
  
Yashiro: Geez! *dodges speeding sports car* Why does everyone here drive so damn fast?!  
  
Vice: Isn't it obvious? They all want to get on "World's Wildest Police Videos".  
  
*a few police cars pursue the speeder; car makes wrong turn, falls off the L.A. Freeway, and explodes upon landing*  
  
Mature: *winces* Guess he'll be on "World's Dumbest Driving Accidents" instead.  
  
Shermie: *Sigh.* I sure do miss Chris.  
  
Vice: I don't. I'm glad the little brat's gone.  
  
*Yashiro suddenly pulls the van over*  
  
Yashiro: Make one more insult about Chris, and you can start hitchhiking across L.A.!  
  
Mature: Hey, Vice can't help it if he's a better cook, does household chores, and is more sociable than she is.  
  
Vice: Sure, rub in it, why don't you?  
  
Shermie: Simmer down, people. We've all been a little edgy since Chris left the team. For now, let's try to move on as best we can.  
  
With that, Yashiro pulled the van back onto the L.A. Freeway, and the trio continued their trek across L.A.  
  
A few miles later:  
  
Vice: Stop the van! *van screeches to a halt* They've got the latest issue of Avengers at that nearby comic book store!  
  
Yashiro: Comic books? Piff. Comics are for nerds and losers.  
  
Shermie: Yashiro! You take back what you said this instant!  
  
Yashiro: But, all I said was.  
  
Shermie: Do you want a timeout?  
  
Yashiro: But I.  
  
Shermie: That does it! Go sit in the back of the van and think about what you said!  
  
Yashiro: Yes, M'am. *sits in the back of the van; Shermie places a dunce cap on Yashiro's head*  
  
Shermie *to Yashiro*: You stay there until we get back from Comicopia (the name of the comic book store). Hey! They've got Hamtaro merchandise!  
  
Shermie, Vice, and Mature entered Comicopia, while Yashiro sat in the back of the van wearing a dunce cap (as punishment for his rude comments).  
  
Section 10- The Hentai Section  
  
11:20am  
  
Five minutes later, Chris and Kula arrived in Japantown.  
  
Chris: We're finally here. So, where do we begin?  
  
Kula: Let's check out the bookstore. I always like reading the funny Engrish magazines.  
  
The duo entered Tsubasa Books (the name of the Japanese bookstore).  
  
Store Clerk: Hello. Welcome to Tsubasa Book. OH MY GOODNESS! It's Chris and Kula! Can I have your autographs?  
  
Chris and Kula: Sure! *both of them sign the store clerk's autograph book*  
  
Store Clerk *to Chris*: You didn't really leave CYS on your own accord, did you?  
  
Chris: Actually, they demoted me to a shoeshine boy, so I quit the band.  
  
Store Clerk: I thought so. It didn't sound like lead singer Shermie was telling the truth about you going A.W.O.L. Also, I thought that your cover of "I Love Rock 'n' Roll" sounded better than those two new band members' rendition.  
  
Chris: Thanks! I'm glad to see that someone hasn't been brainwashed by their lies.  
  
Store Clerk: Hey! *sniff* *sniff* Are you wearing perfume?  
  
Chris: It wasn't by choice! I got sprayed by one of the perfume ladies while walking through Ad Alley.  
  
Store Clerk: I don't blame you. Ever since Telemarketer's Lane got blown to pieces, the salespeople have become a lot more aggressive. Heck, one time I went through Ad Alley, I was forced to drink Pickle Cola, buy sheep insurance, and listen to some guy drone on and on about the downsides of not hiring a malpractice lawyer, and I was one of the more fortunate ones; you don't want to hear about what happened to the unlucky ones.  
  
Chris: I see, so me getting sprayed with perfume and being forced to drink cat pee would be considered normal?  
  
Store Clerk: Relatively speaking, yes. That's why I usually go through Mac Street instead. It's longer, but at least I don't have to worry about being harassed by numerous salespeople.  
  
Kula *in the distance*: Hey! Chris! Look what I found!  
  
Chris: Isn't it illegal for her to be in the Adult section of the bookstore?  
  
Store Clerk: You're joking, right? You guys are celebrities; you can do whatever you want, wherever and whenever you want, and not face any legal repercussions.  
  
Chris: Really? *walks over to where Kula is* What is it you wanted me to see?  
  
Kula: This! *shows Chris a doujinshi# with K' and Kula standing back-to- back on the cover*  
  
Chris: Uh, Kula, that's a hentai doujinshi.  
  
Kula: *gives naughty smile* Ooh! I bet he does something naughty with me!  
  
Chris: *shrugs* Don't blame me if something bad happens to you in that doujinshi. I'll be looking at the Japanese music magazines, if you need me.  
  
Kula opened up the hentai doujinshi.  
  
*begin story*  
  
Location- A hot springs bath house, somewhere in Japan.  
  
*Kula, Diana, and Foxy, clad in towels, enter the female side of the hot springs*  
  
Kula: Whew! After a hard day of espionage, I could sure use a nice, hot bath right about now.  
  
Diana: You said it. *all three get into the water*  
  
Kula: Mmmm! These waters are so relaxing!  
  
30 minutes later.  
  
Foxy: It's time, Kula.  
  
Kula: Time? What time?  
  
Diana: Time for us to show you who we really are. *Diana and Foxy take off their wigs and remove their towels, revealing themselves to be men*  
  
Kula *shocked*: *GASP!* You're.  
  
Diana: That's right! We're men who've been posing as women all along. Call me Dion.  
  
Foxy: And I'm Fox! Prepare for the raping of your life, Kula!  
  
Kula struggled to get up, but her time in the hot springs made her too weak to move. Dion and Fox moved in for the kill.  
  
Kula: NOOOOOO!!!  
  
*interrupt story*  
  
Kula *seething with anger*: What. What the hell is THIS?!?!?  
  
Chris: I warned you.  
  
Kula *angered*: Who the hell made this piece of garbage?!! *looks at the back of the doujinshi; discovers the author responsible is named Max X. Posure* When I find that Max X. Posure guy, I'm going to crush him into a snow cone!! *looks at the last page and finds Max's address* A-HA! He's located at 31 Bump Street! That's only a few blocks away from here! *grabs Chris* C'mon, Chris! We've got ourselves a hentai artist to kill!  
  
Chris: Hoo boy! I had a feeling this was going to happen. *to Store Clerk* What about paying for the hentai doujinshi?  
  
Store Clerk: Keep it. It's on the house.  
  
Chris *while being pulled away*: Thanks, I think. See ya!  
  
Store Clerk *thinking to himself*: I really should get rid of all those hentai doujinshi(s) in the adult section, but if I did, my boss would kill me. What a dilemma.  
  
Chris and Kula left the bookstore and made their way towards 31 Jump Street in order to stop Max X. Posure once and for all.  
  
#- Doujinshi are fan-produced manga sold at manga stores and at Comiket (a giant convention held twice a year). There are five main categories of doujinshi: normal, shonen-ai (kissing between two men), shoujo-ai (kissing between two females), yaoi (graphic sex between two males), and hentai (very graphic sex between a man and a woman, or two females; contains lots of nudity, too). Most doujinshi are based off of different anime/manga series (think of it as fan-fiction in manga form), but some are based off of real-life celebrities.  
  
Section 11- Raiden Vs. Max X. Posure  
  
11:30am  
  
Ten minutes later, Chris and Kula arrived at an apartment complex on 31 Bump Street. Using the apartment's directory, they soon came upon Max's apartment, located on the fourth four of the building in room 441.  
  
*Kula knocks on the door*  
  
Max X. Posure: Go away! I don't have this month's rent yet!  
  
*KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK! CRASH!!*  
  
Kula crashed through the door, enraged by Max's hentai doujinshi.  
  
Max *shocked*: K-Kula Diamond!!  
  
Kula: I want an explanation as to why you drew a hentai doujinshi about me- NOW!!!  
  
Max: Well. I just felt like it, that's all.  
  
Kula: You felt like it?! But I'm only 14 years old!  
  
Max: Yeah? So what? The kids from Neon Genesis Evangelion are 14, and they're in lots of hentai doujinshi.  
  
Kula: But they're not real! I am!  
  
Max: Look, if you've come here to whine and complain, then go nuts. I don't care what you say; as long as I'm alive, I shall continue drawing hentai doujinshi for the good of mankind (and because they make a lot of money on eBay)!  
  
Kula: I'm not leaving until you stop drawing stuff that contains either myself or any of my friends!  
  
Max: Fat chance! Now, are you going to leave quietly. or in LITTLE ICY PIECES?!?! *pulls out giant chain gun*  
  
Chris: Get down! *tackles Kula to the floor before Max opens fire*  
  
Kula: What are you doing?! I could've taken him!  
  
Chris: Oh really? Wanna bet? *picks up one of the discarded bullets*  
  
Kula *shocked*: It's a flame-tipped bullet! But how did he. ?!?  
  
The duo continued to dodge/evade the bullets as Max continued to blast away at Chris and Kula (oblivious to the fact that he was destroying his own apartment).  
  
Max *while firing chain gun*: I know everything about you, Kula Diamond! Your strengths, your weaknesses, even your secret crush. I drew that hentai doujinshi in order to lure you here, and now, I'm going to collect the bounty placed on your head!  
  
Kula: Wait a second! Who placed the bounty on my head?!  
  
Max: I did!  
  
Chris: But why?  
  
Max: I needed a new hobby. *pulls out flamethrower* Roast in hell, ice b*tch!  
  
Just as Max was about to fire his flamethrower, a mysterious figure crashed through the window and knocked Max to the floor, forcing him to let go of his weapons.  
  
Chris: Now, Kula! While he's distracted!  
  
Taking advantage of the distraction, Kula encased Max in a deep freeze, then shoved his frozen body out of the now-broken window, sending him plummeting to the ground below. The impact shattered his body into a thousand pieces.  
  
Kula: Well, it looks like HE was the one who left in little icy pieces!  
  
Chris *surprised*: Jack Raiden (from Metal Gear Solid 2)?! What the hell are you doing here?!  
  
Jack Raiden: He made a yaoi doujinshi featuring Revolver Ocelot and me!  
  
Kula *surprised*: It can't be! You're Jack "Wuss Boy" Raiden?  
  
Raiden: I certainly am. And what do you mean "Wuss Boy"? I saved the world, didn't I?  
  
Chris *in sarcastic tone*: Yeah, sure. Saving the world made you a more manly man than you once were.  
  
Kula: Just because you saved the world and stopped Solidus Snake doesn't mean you're any more of a man than Solid Snake is. You're still a big chicken compared to him.  
  
Raiden: But. I saved the world.  
  
Chris: But nothing! If Solid Snake wasn't forced to fake his death, he would've been the one to save the world. He wouldn't have left the fate of the free world in the hands of some inexperienced coward if he had had the choice.  
  
Raiden *insulted*: You little brats! *gets call* Hold on, I've got a call. *answers codec*  
  
Raiden *via codec*: Raiden here. What's up?  
  
Colonel *via codec*: Raiden, you are a big, fat wuss.  
  
Rose *via codec*: He's got a point, you effeminate pansy.  
  
Raiden: What the?! Hey! Get away from that C.B. radio!  
  
As it turned out, Chris and Kula were manipulating the voices of the Colonel and Rose via Max's C.B. radio.  
  
Chris: Oh look. Now we know who the Patriots really are; a bunch of guys messing with a C.B. radio.  
  
Raiden *insulted*: You kids better cut that out, or.  
  
Kula: Or what? You're going to call Solid Snake for help? *impersonating Raiden* Help me, Snake! I'm too frail and puny to die!  
  
Chris: Come on, Wuss Boy, let's see you shed some tears, just like when you failed to save Emma Emmerich.  
  
Raiden: Why can't you people just leave me ALONE?!?!? *SOB!* *runs out of the room and the apartment complex, crying*  
  
Chris: What a priss! Solid Snake wouldn't have run off like that.  
  
Kula: Yeah. Instead, he would've pulled the carpet out from underneath our feet, picked us up, slammed us against the wall, pointed two machetes at the backs of our necks, and ordered us to apologize.  
  
Chris: Now THAT would've been cool!  
  
Kula: Anyways, let's torch the rest of Max X. Posure's works and get on outta here.  
  
Chris: Don't be so judgmental, Kula. I'm sure he must have something worth keeping. *opens up the desk drawer; looks at all the works-in-progress* "Love Hinako"? "Shermie, Oh Mai"?! "Mary Does Everyone"?! You're right! There is nothing worth keeping! *grabs folder before picking up flamethrower* Flame on! *torches the desk and anything else belonging to Max*  
  
Kula: Let's slide! *creates ice slide out that leads out of the window and onto the street*  
  
Making their escape via Kula's ice slide, the two slid out of the apartment complex and onto a nearby sidewalk.  
  
Kula: Well, that was one wild ride. Let's go home and get some lunch.  
  
Chris: Best idea I've heard this morning. Let's go!  
  
Kula: By the way, what's in that folder you took from Max's apartment?  
  
Chris: Here, have a look. *opens up folder and shows contents to Kula; Kula blushes at the sight of the contents inside*  
  
Kula: If this ever gets out, there could be big trouble.  
  
Chris: Think of it as blackmailing material.  
  
With that, Kula and Chris headed back to the Todoh house, leaving the burning remains of Max X. Posure's apartment far behind.  
  
Section 12- Fanaddict  
  
Two days ago, at the Five Seasons Southtown.  
  
Hotel Clerk: Mr. Jhun Hoon, your room is ready.  
  
Jhun: Excellent!  
  
Bellhop: Allow me, Mr. Hoon. *takes Jhun's baggage*  
  
Jhun and the bellhop entered the elevator.  
  
90 seconds later:  
  
Bellhop: Here we are- room 711. *pulls out key and unlocks door for Jhun*  
  
Inside of Jhun's hotel room was Athena Asamiya, wearing a red Chinese dress and singing the lyrics to her newest song, "It's Mine For The Taking".  
  
Jhun: OH MY GOD! Athena Asamiya's staying in my hotel room! Somebody pinch me!  
  
Kaoru Watanabe: CUT!! Jhun, what the heck are you doing here?!?  
  
Jhun: Me?! This is my hotel room! What's going on here?  
  
Karou: We're trying to shoot Athena's newest music video. *to crewmembers* Come on out, fellas. *a dozen crewmembers, including Kensou, emerge from various parts of the room*  
  
Sie Kensou: Nice going, Jhun. Now we have to re-shoot the entire scene all over again!  
  
Jhun: Sorry! It wasn't my fault. *to Kaoru* Since when have you been directing Athena's music videos?  
  
Kaoru: Since last year. I get extra credit in my film class for every music video I direct.  
  
Athena *stunned*: Oh! Jhun! What a pleasant surprise. I didn't expect to see you here so soon.  
  
Jhun: I think the hotel management might've given me the wrong room.  
  
Bellhop: Don't worry, sir. I'll have the hotel staff find you another room.  
  
Jhun: Anyways, I'm here, as per your request. So now, your new team is complete. By the way, where's Chin?  
  
Athena: He's out by the pool, getting a suntan.  
  
At the pool.  
  
Chin Gensai: Ah, a strawberry daiquiri and a pool full of babes. Now this is what I call living! *to one of the ladies* Excuse me, miss. Would you like to play a little "Marco Polo" with me?  
  
*lady turns around, revealing herself to be a 70 year-old hag* *Chin is shocked*  
  
Old Hag: I'd love to, sweetie. Let me get my swim goggles, first. *her dentures fall out as she speaks*  
  
Chin *thinking to himself*: Boy, they sure don't make them like they used to.  
  
Present day, 12:30pm.  
  
Backstage, at the Southtown Arena, Athena was preparing for yet another charity concert.  
  
Athena *thinking to herself*: That Lina Love thinks she's so special just because her first album debuted at #1 on the Billboard Charts in America. Well, I'll show her that she's not the only pop diva who can look cute with short hair. *uses her ESP to make her hair short*  
  
Elsewhere in the backstage lounge, Jhun and Kensou were watching the recently recorded 2001 Teen Choice Awards on tape. They were at the part where Athena presented the award for "Best New Artist" to Lina Love.  
  
Kensou: You're going to love this part. Watch closely. *Lina Love approaches the stage to receive her reward. As Athena hands to award to her, she sneezes all over Lina Love*  
  
Kensou: I guess Athena's allergic to no-talent hacks like her.  
  
Jhun and Kensou: HAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Kensou: *hears door opening* Uh-oh! Here comes Athena! *stops tape*  
  
Athena emerged from her dressing room, ready to rock.  
  
Athena *to Jhun and Kensou*: So, guys, what do you think of my new haircut?  
  
Kensou *shocked*: Athena! What happened to your long, flowing locks?! You don't look a thing like yourself!  
  
Jhun: *slaps Kensou over the back of his head* Stop being so dramatic! *to Athena* I like it! It looks kinda cute.  
  
Athena: Thanks, Jhun.  
  
Kensou: You're right, Jhun. I overreacted. I'm not used to seeing Athena with short hair. It's just that. it doesn't look like something she'd normally do.  
  
Athena: Don't worry, Kensou. Once the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament is over, I'll grow my hair back to its original length. Okay? *gives cute smile*  
  
Kensou: Okay! *to Jhun* See you after the concert!  
  
Jhun: Good luck, you two!  
  
Athena and Kensou: Thanks! We'll need it!  
  
Athena *to the camera*: Sssh! Don't tell Kensou I used my ESP to make my hair short on purpose, okay? *winks*  
  
Guy Behind The Camera: Hey! Kensou! Guess what?  
  
*Athena fires a Psycho Ball at the camera guy*  
  
Kensou *shocked*: What was that for?!  
  
Athena: He said I was fat! *pretends to cry*  
  
Kensou *angered, to camera guy*: So, you think Athena's fat, huh? Well, how about I give you a big fat lip?! *beats the tar out of the camera guy and stuffs him inside a trash bag * Jhun, please take out the trash while we're gone.  
  
Jhun: Will do. *grabs camera guy* Let's have a little chat in the back alley outside, shall we? *carries camera guy outside*  
  
Athena *thinking to herself*: Serves you right for nearly giving away my little secret.  
  
Athena and Kensou headed off to the center stage of the arena, ready to give another stellar performance.  
  
Section 13- Call Me "Mrs. Crawley"  
  
1:15pm  
  
At Illusions Bar & Grill:  
  
Vanessa: Hi, King!  
  
King: Well, well, well. If it isn't Vanessa. What brings you here to Southtown?  
  
Vanessa: No reason; just thought I'd take a nice little vacation with my husband.  
  
King *shocked*: Your husband?! I thought he was dead.  
  
Vanessa: I lied so that Ramon wouldn't throw a tantrum. Would you like to meet him?  
  
King: Sure.  
  
Vanessa *to her husband*: Come on in, hubbykins!  
  
A guy who bared a striking resemblance to Albert Wesker (from Resident Evil) walked into the bar. Upon seeing Vanessa's husband, King dropped the martini she was mixing up.  
  
King *shocked*: J-J-JOHN CRAWLEY?!?!?!?  
  
John Crawley: Long time, no speak, huh, King?  
  
King: You're Vanessa's husband?!  
  
John: That's right.  
  
King: But how?! I though you had all but disappeared after the first Art Of Fighting tournament (Art Of Fighting 2)!  
  
John: Technically, I did disappear, from Southtown, at least. After losing in the quarterfinals to Takuma Sakazaki, I decided to return to the military in order to pull my life back together. Eventually, I worked my way back up the ranks, and was soon assigned to a special task force classified as the "Ikari Warriors".  
  
King *surprised*: You were a member of the Ikari Warriors?! Why didn't Ralf and Clark tell me that?  
  
John: They weren't supposed to. I was a member of their "Ghost Ops" division; only the upper echelons (like Heidern) knew about our existence. A few years ago, my troops and I were paired up with a few agents from the Super Spy Organization in order to put a stop to Theodore Muckly (son of the late Dr. R. Muckly), who wanted to destroy Vietnam. One of the agents on this mission was Vanessa Johnson, my future wife. The battle was a very costly one, as only a few of us survived; all but two of my men were killed, and only two of the agents we were assigned to assist survived (one of them being Vanessa). Yet, we emerged victorious, and were able to save Vietnam from Theodore Muckly's wrath. However, after watching so many of my fellow men die in battle, I couldn't bear the burden of being a "Ghost Ops" operative anymore, and requested to be reassigned to the position of Sergeant of the Ikari Warriors' Task Force division. All was not gloom and doom, however, as Vanessa and I soon fell in love, and since July 14th, 1999, Vanessa and I have been happily married. Today, she and I still work our respective jobs (she's still a secret agent for the Super Spy Organization, while I'm now Corporal of the Ikari Warriors' Task Force division), yet we still find time to see each other every so often.  
  
King: Well, that certainly explains a lot, but what ever happened to Ramon?  
  
John: I got word of him making moves on my wife during the King Of Fighters 2000 tournament through a certain tabloid newspaper. Shortly after that, I tracked him down and challenged him to a duel. As for who won, well, let's just say that a few vultures in the middle of the Arizona desert won't be going hungry anytime soon.  
  
King *shocked*: You killed Ramon?!  
  
John: Hey! It was a duel; therefore, it was perfectly legal.  
  
Vanessa: By the way, Johnny and I are going to be competing in the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
King: Really? Who are your other two teammates?  
  
Vanessa: Seth Davis and Iori Yagami.  
  
King: Seth I can believe, but Iori? HA! Good luck trying to keep him under control. He slaughters anyone that gets in his way, even his own teammates.  
  
Vanessa: We already knew about that, and we've come prepared. *pulls out cell phone and calls Seth*  
  
Section 14- Join The Super Spy Organization Today And Receive A Free Guitar!  
  
Friday, 3:20am  
  
Elsewhere, in Akihabara, Japan, Iori Yagami was wandering around the city, trying to find Kyo Kusanagi.  
  
Iori Yagami: Soon, Kyo. Very soon, indeed.  
  
Hiding in an alleyway close by was Seth, who was intent on my Iori his teammate. Suddenly, he received a call from Vanessa.  
  
Seth: *pulls out cell phone, answers it* Seth here.  
  
Vanessa *via cell phone*: It's Vanessa. What's the good word?  
  
Seth: Operation "Snatch Yagami" is underway. *presses button on switch*  
  
Suddenly, a giant cage emerged from the sidewalk where Iori was standing, trapping him.  
  
Iori *angered*: What the hell is this?!?!?  
  
Seth: Hello, Yagami. We've been looking for a new teammate and were wondering if you'd consider joining us.  
  
Iori: Who's "we"?  
  
Seth: Myself, Vanessa and John Crawley.  
  
Iori: Forget it. I'm not working with a bunch of two-bit hacks.  
  
Seth: I think you'll reconsider after I show you what's inside this large briefcase. *opens up briefcase and shows Iori what's inside*  
  
Iori: It's a Gibson electric guitar!  
  
Seth: That's right! It's yours if you choose to fight alongside us. Not only that, you'll also get to fight Kyo at the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
Iori *thinking to himself*: Kyo! I've been looking for him for the past year. At last, I'll be able to finish him once and for all.  
  
Seth: So, what's it going to be, Iori? You can't go as a single entry, since that's been ruled illegal by the KOF tournament staff.  
  
Iori: Very well, then. I'll fight alongside your pathetic teammates.  
  
Seth: Excellent choice. Remember, if you attack any of your fellow teammates, the guitar goes bye-bye. See you in Osaka in one week.  
  
With that, Seth and the guitar disappeared into the darkness, and the cage retracted back into the ground, leaving Iori to contemplate his decision.  
  
Iori: Just you wait, Kusanagi. In seven days, you will feel the full force of my Orochi-blooded wrath! *gives infamous laugh*  
  
Back in Southtown.  
  
Vanessa: *hangs up cell phone* That's it. Seth's done it. Iori Yagami is now one of us!  
  
John: All right! This calls for a few celebratory beers! *to King* Give me a Sam Adams.  
  
Vanessa: Make mine a Bud Ice.  
  
King: Sure thing, John and Vanessa.  
  
Vanessa: Please, call me "Mrs. Crawley".  
  
King: Okay then, Mr. And Mrs. Crawley.  
  
John: By the way, King, how have things been going with you and your boyfriend, Ryo?  
  
King: What?! *blushes* That's a lie and you know it!  
  
John: Oh really? *shows King the same tabloid newspaper that reported about Ramon making moves on Vanessa; article says: "Takuma Sakazaki Protects King From Zero Cannon" "I was only protecting the future heir to the Kyokugen dojo". says elder master.*  
  
King: *puts hand over eyes* Oh brother!  
  
Section 15- Kyokugen Girl Utena  
  
3:45pm  
  
At the Todoh household, Shingo and Kasumi had just returned from school.  
  
Shingo: We're home!  
  
Kula: Welcome back. How was school today?  
  
Kasumi: Boring, dull, stressful.  
  
Chris: In other words, the same as usual.  
  
Kasumi: You got it. Now make some room.  
  
Shingo and Kasumi parked themselves on the couch next to Kula and Chris.  
  
*on TV*  
  
*Anthy Himemiya is being bullied by three female schoolmates.*  
  
Schoolgirl 1: It's all your fault, Anthy!  
  
Just as she was about to slap her, Anthy grabbed ahold of her arm.  
  
Anthy: Stop accusing me! *lands a powerful punch on Schoolgirl 1, sending her twirling to the ground*  
  
Eyeing Schoolgirl 3, Anthy performed the "Hien Shippu Kyaku" attack on her, sending her tumbling across the ground. Frightened by the sudden turn of events, Schoolgirl 2 started fleeing in terror. As she ran, Anthy fired a "Haoh Shouko Ken" at her, launching the poor bully into the horizon.  
  
Anthy: *wipes off glasses* The prosecution rests.  
  
Utena Tenjou *shocked*: I-I didn't know that Anthy could fight like that, much less defend herself! How did she get so strong in such a short period of time?!  
  
Ryo Sakazaki: How, indeed! Hi, I'm Ryo Sakazaki!  
  
Robert Garcia: And I'm Robert Garcia!  
  
Ryo: And we're here to tell you about the benefits of training at the Kyokugen dojo.  
  
Robert: Are you tired of being the recipient of countless wedgies and black eyes? Do women avoid you because of your scrawny/tubby physique? Well, fret no more, because the Kyokugen style can help you achieve the body you want in as little as six weeks.  
  
Ryo: It's easy. All you gotta do is stick to our strict training regime for about five hours a day. It may seem like a lot of work, but once you get the hang of it, you'll notice the results within a few weeks.  
  
Robert: Imagine being able to finally get revenge on that bully that has dogged you for your entire high school life, or performing flying jump kicks, or even shooting giant fireballs out of your hands. All of this can be achieved thanks to the Kyokugen style.  
  
Ryo: So what are you waiting for? Call the number on your screen today and say, "I want to be a Kyokugen student!". Physical perfection is only a phone call away, so call today.  
  
Robert: And remember- if you want to become strong today, learn how to do it the Kyokugen way!  
  
Robert, Ryo And Anthy: OSU!  
  
*back to reality*  
  
Shingo: That was weird, but pretty cool at the same time.  
  
Section 16- Rolling In The Green  
  
3:45pm  
  
Meanwhile, at the Kyokugen Dojo:  
  
Takuma Sakazaki: 56, 57, 58, 59, 60 dollars. There. That takes care of your deposit. Welcome to the Kyokugen Dojo, Mr. Blake. Good luck with your first class, and try not to get hurt during your first time here.  
  
Mr. Blake: I'll do my best, Master Sakazaki. *heads off into the main training room*  
  
Takuma: Heh! Heh! Heh! This ought to be enough for my new tuxedo.  
  
Yuri Sakazaki *thinking to herself*: Wow. I haven't seen Father act this happy since we started getting a flood of new students last year.  
  
*cue flashback to seven months ago*  
  
Takuma: *rings bell* Family meeting! *Ryo and Yuri enter the room*  
  
Takuma: Son, honey, we've hit a financial snag. In order for the Kyokugen gym to stay afloat, we're going to have to sell a few of our valued possessions.  
  
Ryo *shocked*: WHAT?!  
  
Yuri *shocked*: No way! I am not selling Mr. Snugglebunny to anyone!  
  
Takuma: It's the only way we can keep this place alive. It's that or we start living at the Garcia Mansion.  
  
Yuri: I don't have a problem with that.  
  
Ryo: Yeah. Neither do I.  
  
Takuma: That's not the point! If we lose this place, then 100 years of Sakazaki history goes straight down the toilet. Now hand over Mr. Snugglebunny!  
  
Yuri: NEVER!  
  
Suddenly, there was a knock on the door to the Kyokugen Dojo.  
  
Ryo: I'll get it. *opens door* HOLY.!!!!!  
  
Outside of the Kyokugen Dojo, there was a small army of people waiting outside.  
  
Ryo *speechless*: Uh. can I help you?  
  
Random Guy 1: I want to learn how to do martial arts just like those people in "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon".  
  
Random Guy 2: Yeah! I want to be able to leap off of buildings like Yu Shu Lien.  
  
Random Guy 3: I wanna use a sword just like Li Mu Bai can!  
  
Ryo: Uh. hold on a second. *to Takuma and Yuri* Dad, Sis, you might want to take a look at this.  
  
Upon seeing the huge crowd waiting for them outside, Yuri's eyes popped out and Takuma's jaw dropped to the floor.  
  
Ryo: They all said they wanted to learn how to do martial arts.  
  
Takuma: *to the crowd* Well, come on in, everyone, and I'll starting teaching you martial arts the Kyokugen way! One at a time, please.  
  
Yuri: YAY! It looks like you're safe, Mr. Snugglebunny!  
  
Slowly, the crowd started making their way into the Kyokugen Dojo in order to learn the Kyokugen style of fighting.  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Yuri *thinking to herself*: And now that we're richer than we've ever been, I've finally been able to buy myself some nice clothes. Not only that, the Dojo's been able to afford some real advertising, like TV commercials and newspaper ads. At this rate, we could very well become the most popular martial arts dojo in all of California.  
  
Takuma: Next! Welcome to the Kyokugen Dojo, Miss.  
  
Miss Ferdinand: Ferdinand. I'm an agent from the IRS. I'm here to collect on a bunch of taxes you owe us.  
  
Takuma: That's absurd! I've already paid all of my taxes for this year.  
  
Miss Ferdinand: Oh really? That's not what your file says. According to this document, you've evaded taxes for the past five years. And did I mention that being in a higher salary bracket means having to pay higher taxes than the ones you've got now? And another thing.  
  
As Miss Ferdinand rambled on, Robert Garcia snuck in, waived "Hello" to Yuri, crept up behind Miss Ferdinand, and opened up her briefcase.  
  
Robert *thinking to himself*: It's full of old newspapers!  
  
Quietly closing up Miss Ferdinand's briefcase, Robert appeared behind Takuma and whispered in his ear that Miss Ferdinand was a fraud.  
  
Takuma: Well, Miss Ferdinand, you are quite tough when it comes to questioning, but I have a question for you: you're not really an IRS agent, are you?  
  
Miss Ferdinand: That's preposterous! What makes you think that.  
  
Suddenly, Yuri appeared behind Miss Ferdinand.  
  
Yuri: JUMANJI! *pulls off Miss Ferdinand's wig* *GASP!* Miss Ferdinand's a guy!  
  
Takuma: I knew it! You're not an IRS agent; you're a con artist!  
  
Robert: So, what do you have to say for yourself now, "Mister" Ferdinand?  
  
Mitch Ferdinand *sweating bullets*: Er, uh. bye! *runs out the door*  
  
Takuma: Stop that transvestite!!  
  
Yuri and Robert chased after Mitch Ferdinand as he fled the Dojo.  
  
Mitch *panicking while running*: Oh God! I knew I should've parked the getaway car closer! But I couldn't risk getting fined by the ticket-happy Southtown Police!  
  
Yuri: There he is! Ko-Ou Ken! *launches fireball at Mitch*  
  
Mitch: AHH! *ducks into an alleyway, barely missing the fireball*  
  
Yuri: Dammit! Missed him! He went into that alleyway!  
  
Mitch: *PHEW!* Safe!  
  
Mysterious Voices: Hold it right there, cross dresser!  
  
As Mitch turned around, he noticed a bunch of Hinako's students were moving towards him.  
  
Mitch *panicking* Don't come any closer! I have a briefcase!  
  
Alas, Mitch's cries of futility were for naught, as Hinako's students gave him a massive gang pounding before tossing him out of the alley.  
  
Robert: Whoa! It looks like someone took care of the transvestite for us! But who?  
  
Hinako's students quietly emerged from the alley.  
  
Hinako's Student 1: Uh, Miss Yuri Sakazaki, we were wondering if we could become your students.  
  
Yuri: I don't know. there certainly are a lot of you.  
  
Hinako's Student 2: Please say yes; we've needed someone to (blindly) follow around ever since Hinako was killed in that brutal dam accident.  
  
Yuri: Let's discuss this back at the dojo, shall we?  
  
Yuri, Robert, and Hinako's students returned to the dojo with Mitch Ferdinand in tow. Shortly after the police arrived and took Mitch away.  
  
Takuma: So, all of these girls want to be taught Kyokugen by YOU?  
  
Yuri: Yes.  
  
Takuma: The answer is NO. They will be taught under my personal supervision.  
  
Hinako's Student 3: EWW! We don't want to be taught by a dirty old man! We want to be taught by someone who isn't ugly and actually bathes.  
  
Yuri: Sorry, Father, the people have spoken, and they want ME to teach them.  
  
Takuma: *SIGH!* You win, Yuri; they're all yours.  
  
Yuri: Ha HA! Excellent! The Yuri Sakazaki faction lives!  
  
Takuma: I'm proud of you, honey. This is going to be your first time teaching your own class. Make me proud, my daughter.  
  
Yuri: I will, Father. I won't disappoint you.  
  
Robert *whispering in Takuma's ear*: I know you're disappointed about not being able to get your hands on some high-school booty, but I know a place where there are a bunch of college chicks who would love to be taught by you.  
  
Takuma *whispering in Robert's ear*: Show me, and I'll show you some super secret moves I've never taught anyone (not even my son).  
  
Section 17- A "Rocking" New Battle Stance  
  
4:00pm  
  
In the backyard of the Todoh residence, Shingo, Kula, Kasumi, and Chris were training in preparation for the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
Shingo: Uh. Chris? What are you doing?  
  
Chris: I'm trying out my new battle stance. It's supposed to look like I'm playing an air guitar.  
  
Shingo: *laughs* What good is a ridiculous battle stance like that going to do you?  
  
Suddenly, Chris appeared in front of Shingo and performed his "Shooting Dancer Thrust" on him.  
  
Chris: Apparently, a whole lot of good, since you fell for it. My new battle stance is supposed to distract the opponent and leave him/her open to any attacks.  
  
Shingo: *leans back up* I stand corrected.  
  
As time wore on, Mrs. Todoh returned home from work and was about to call Kasumi inside for her tea ceremony lessons, when she noticed how hard Kasumi was training alongside her friends.  
  
Mrs. Todoh *thinking to herself*: Amazing! Ever since her friends started living here, Kasumi's been training harder than she ever has. I think I'll forego the tea ceremony lessons for today and let her continue training.  
  
As the training session continued, Kasumi tried to break through Kula's defenses, but to no avail, as she managed to evade every one of Kasumi's "Ecstasy Crunch" attacks. Suddenly, Kula sent a wave of ice surging toward Kasumi. Running out of options, she improvised and performed a new attack: the "Super Ecstasy Thrust DM" (which is a straightforward thrust variation of the Ecstasy Crunch), which cut straight through the icy attack and stopped only a couple inches short of hitting Kula in the forehead.  
  
Kula *stunned*: Th-that nearly hit me!  
  
Shingo *surprised*: WHOA! How did you do that?!  
  
Kasumi: I don't know! I just gathered up all the energy inside of me and formed it into a giant sword.  
  
Chris: However you did it, it was quite impressive.  
  
A few minutes later, Shingo was knocked to the ground after being hit simultaneously by Kula's "Critical Ice" and Chris's "Hunting Air" attacks.  
  
Chris: Give it a rest, Shingo. You've taken enough damage for one day.  
  
Shingo: NO! I can't give up now! If I'm unable to take more punishment than I can dish out, I won't be able to surpass my master. I have to keep on fighting, if only to become stronger than I am now!  
  
Kula: Well, I admire your spirit, Shingo, but don't blame us if you get yourself killed.  
  
With that, Shingo started running towards the duo. Spotting an easy opening, Chris performed his "Shooting Dancer Thrust". Sensing this coming, Shingo leapt up and off of Chris's head, and started flying towards Kula. With the now-airborne Shingo in her sights, Kula sent a tower of ice his way using her "Diamond Edge DM", but he evaded it by using his "101 Shiki: Oboro-guruma Mikansei" to get the few inches he needed to avoid the attack. From there, he landed on Kula, got up, ran towards Chris, and nailed him with his "Ge Shiki: Kake Hourin SDM", launching him into the fence.  
  
Shingo *exhausted*: *GASP!* *PANT!* I did it! I am supre.* *falls unconcious*  
  
Kasumi *shocked*: Shingo!  
  
Picking themselves up from off the ground, Kula and Chris helped Kasumi carry Shingo inside.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: What happened?  
  
Kasumi: Shingo went a little too far trying to prove himself.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: I'll go call an ambulance.  
  
Kula: That won't be necessary, Mrs. Todoh. We'll have Shingo back up and running, thanks to these Super Power Pills.  
  
Chris: Let me guess: those were given to you by N.E.S.T.S., right?  
  
Kula: Exact-o-mundo. Open wide, Shingo.  
  
Upon being fed one of the Super Power Pills, Shingo started opening his eyes, and in no time at all, was back on his feet.  
  
Shingo: Yeah! I feel like going another few rounds!  
  
Kula: I think you've done enough for one day, Shingo. You've already more than proven your worth.  
  
Chris: I agree. Those last few attacks were exceptional.  
  
Shingo: You're right. I think we'd better call it a day; but not before I try out one last attack. We're going to need a human volunteer for this.  
  
Kasumi: I know someone who'd be willing to volunteer. *grabs boom box* Come on!  
  
The trio followed Kasumi outside as she made her way to a next-door neighbor's house.  
  
Kasumi: This ought to get his attention. *places boom box on next-door neighbor's porch and presses the Play button; boom box starts spewing out annoyingly loud rap music*  
  
Mr. Dinkleman: *opens front door* STOP PLAYING THAT DAMN RAP Music. *falls silent as he notices Kasumi and friends standing on his porch, arms crossed*  
  
Kasumi: Hi there, you fat, balding, drunken wretch! *presses Stop button*  
  
Mr. Dinkleman *nervous*: Oh, uh, hi, Kasumi. Lovely afternoon, isn't it?  
  
Kasumi: Cut the small talk! We need you to be our human dummy for a few minutes.  
  
Mr. Dinkleman: No way! Absolutely not!  
  
Kasumi: Do you want me to tell the authorities about how you tried to sell me alcohol when I was 14?  
  
Mr. Dinkleman: NO! Anything but that! I don't want to go back to prison!  
  
Kasumi: So, does that mean you're willing to be our human dummy?  
  
Mr. Dinkleman: YES! Just don't call the cops on me!  
  
Kasumi: Good. Let's go.  
  
Shingo: What is your beef with that guy?  
  
Kasumi: He used to be an ice cream man. He stole my ice cream money away from me, and then tried to offer me some alcohol instead. Luckily, my dad called the cops, and had him arrested for stealing money from little children. I never mention to the authorities that he tried to sell me beer, so I decided to use it as a bargaining chip for whenever I needed Mr. Dinkleman's assistance.  
  
Shingo: I see.  
  
At Mr. Dinkleman's backyard:  
  
Kasumi: So, why did you need a human dummy, Shingo?  
  
Shingo: I wanted to try out a new team attack. I call it the "Gekigan Flare".  
  
Kula: Sounds dangerous.  
  
Shingo: It is. When I shout "Gekigan Flare", everyone run up and perform your DMs on Mr. Dinkleman. Everyone ready?  
  
Kula, Kasumi, and Chris: Yes!  
  
Shingo: Let's do this! GEKIGAN FLARE!  
  
Everyone ran up and performed their DMs all at once on poor Mr. Dinkleman (Shingo did his "Ge Shiki: Kake Hourin DM"; Kasumi did her "Super Ecstasy Crunch DM"; Kula did her "Diamond Edge DM"; and Chris did his "Twister Drive DM").  
  
Shingo: Yeah! That was awesome! Except for one little thing.  
  
Kula: What's that?  
  
Shingo: You're all supposed to strike super-heroic poses once the attack is over.  
  
Chris: Why? It'll make us look stupid.  
  
Shingo: Not stupid: super-heroic! Now, let's try that again, from the top.  
  
Chris: Hold on a second, Shingo. There's something new I want to try.  
  
Shingo: And that is?  
  
Chris: This! OROCHI FLAME- ON! *transforms into Orochi Chris*  
  
Shingo *terrified*: OH MY GOD! Orochi has returned from the grave and is possessing Chris!!  
  
Orochi Chris: Settle down, Shingo. Orochi's still dead. This time, however, I'm in complete control of my Orochi powers, so there's nothing to worry about!  
  
Shingo: WHEW! That's a relief! Okay then! Let's do this again.  
  
Kula: One little request, Chris: don't stand too close to me. I hate fire; purple flames especially.  
  
Orochi Chris: Don't worry, Kula, I'll keep my distance from you.  
  
Once again, the "Gekigan Flare" was performed, only this time, Orochi Chris used his "Ankoku Orochi Nagi DM". Everyone struck their own super-heroic pose once they finished their attack.  
  
Shingo: All right! Great work, team! Let's go home and get some R & R!  
  
Mr. Dinkleman *dazed*: Wait a second! What about me?  
  
Kasumi: You can get up by yourself in about a few hours.  
  
Shingo: Thanks for assisting us, Mr. Dorkleman!  
  
Kula: I hope your recovery is a slow and painful one, Mr. Dinkyman!  
  
Chris: *reverts back to normal* Smell ya later, Mr. Tinkleman!  
  
With that, the Gekiganger 4 team returned home to chill, leaving the broken and battered body of Mr. Dinkleman far behind.  
  
Kasumi: So, who should be the leader of our team?  
  
Chris: Shingo. He's the one who came up with the idea of forming our own team in the first place.  
  
Kula: I agree, and since he's been in more KOF tournaments than anyone else here, he's got the most experience. That, and he's the oldest member we've got.  
  
Kasumi *to Shingo*: Well, think you're up for leading the team, "Captain"?  
  
Shingo: I would be honored to do so. I'll show Kusanagi-san that I can lead a team just as well as he can! Now let's go home and watch Inu Yasha!  
  
Kasumi, Kula and Chris: YEAH!  
  
Section 18- Raidy To Invade  
  
Friday, 12:30am  
  
Night fell, and the Gekiganger 4 team was fast asleep. Outside, a mysterious van pulled up in front of the Todoh house.  
  
Foxy: This looks like the place.  
  
Diana: The plan is simple: sneak in, grab Kula, get out, and annihilate the place. Candy shall lead the way and disable any traps/security systems. The rest of us will follow closely behind.  
  
Angel: Let's do this!  
  
K9999: Hold on a second. Why do I have to stay behind and miss all the fun?  
  
Diana: Your destructive tendencies would more than give us away.  
  
Angel: That, and I know you hate stealth missions. Plus, we need you to be the wheelman when we make our escape. Try to keep yourself busy until we get back, okay?  
  
K9999: Fine. Go. See if I care. Just make sure to leave something for me.  
  
Angel: Don't worry, we will. Move out!  
  
The four N.E.S.T.S. agents exited the van and moved quietly towards the rear entrance of the house.  
  
Candy 2.0: Scanning... That's odd. This house doesn't even have a security system.  
  
Diana: In the middle of Southtown? Either the Todohs are completely nuts or dirt poor. Either way, this works to our advantage.  
  
Candy 2.0: *tries out doorknob* It's locked. *dispenses credit card from wrist and uses it to unlock door*  
  
Candy entered the house.  
  
Candy 2.0: Scanning... all clear. Move in.  
  
Suddenly, as Candy entered the kitchen, a bunch of refrigerator magnets flew towards (and stuck themselves onto) Candy's forehead, causing her to malfunction.  
  
Diana: Candy, what's wrong? Why are you just standing there?  
  
Candy 2.0 *malfunctioning*: *turns around; eyes start glowing red* ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! ERROR! *siren appears on top of her head*  
  
Diana and Foxy: Uh-oh!  
  
Candy 2.0 *malfunctioning*: CANDY BEEEEEAAAMM! *shoots lasers from eyes and hits Diana, knocking her out* ROCKET FIIIIISSSSTTTS! *fires rocket fists at Foxy, rendering her unconscious*  
  
Angel: Oh sh*t! Candy's malfunctioning! Retreat! Fall back! Abort mission! *grabs the now-unconscious Diana and Foxy and hurries back to the van*  
  
Candy 2.0 *malfunctioning*: CHEST MISSILLLLLES!  
  
Angel *panicking*: WAAAAAHH! *barely dodges missiles, which end up detonating in the Todohs' front yard*  
  
Back at the N.E.S.T.S. van, K9999 was playing with his Akira action figures.  
  
K9999 *impersonating Tetsuo*: So, Kaneda, think you'll be able to stop me this time? Well, guess again! *slams Kaneda figure on the floor and stomps it repeatedly* DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!!  
  
K9999 *impersonating Kaori*: Oh, Tetsuo! You saved me from Kaneda's wrath!  
  
K9999 *impersonating Tetsuo*: Gimme some sugar, baby!  
  
Suddenly, Angel swung open the rear doors to the van and hopped in (with Diana and Foxy in tow).  
  
Angel *panicking*: Start the van! NOW!  
  
K9999: The hell.?!?  
  
Angel: Candy's gone off the deep end!  
  
K9999 *shocked* What?!?  
  
Soon, the now-malfunctioning Candy caught up to the N.E.S.T.S. van.  
  
Candy 2.0 *malfunctioning*: CRUSH! KILL! DESTROY! *starts firing lasers from her fingers*  
  
K9999: *starting the van* Dammit! Start, you miserable piece of crap! *van starts up*  
  
In mere moments, the van started speeding away from the Todoh household. Candy, however, decided to pursue her teammates, and quickly switching over to rocket skates, began tailing the fleeing van into the city.  
  
Angel: This whole disaster never would've happened had N.E.S.T.S. made Candy's brain magnet-proof! *looks out rear window* Oh my God! Candy's catching up to us!  
  
Candy 2.0 *malfunctioning; in odd vocal tone*: Ranma Saotome! I kill! *fires eye beam, taking out the van's rear and front windows, yet missing K9999 and Angel*  
  
K9999: Angel! Take the wheel while I take care of this miserable piece of scrap!  
  
Angel took the wheel while K9999 hopped into the back and swung open the rear doors.  
  
K9999: Chew on THIS! *performs "Temeee No Icchimae! DM", blasting a small chunk out of Candy's head*  
  
The attack, however, didn't slow Candy down. In fact, it only made her angrier.  
  
Candy 2.0 *malfunctioning*: RAAAAHH! You make Hulk angry! HULK SMASH! *launches towing cables from arms and grabs onto the rear of the van*  
  
K9999: Jeebus! This thing just won't die! *grabs a bunch of proximity mines from out of the van and tosses them onto Candy* Rest in pieces!  
  
K9999 slammed the detonator switch, blasting Candy into a hundred pieces. The explosion was so loud, it woke up everyone within the city.  
  
K9999: HA! HA! HA! Burn in hell, Robo-B*tch!  
  
Suddenly, out of nowhere, a police car began chasing the damaged van.  
  
K9999: Aw crap! It's the Feds! Floor it!  
  
The van started speeding away from the cop car, already in hot pursuit.  
  
Officer Mayuka: Looks like we've got ourselves a few joy riders. Think you can find a way to put a stop to them?  
  
Officer Natsuki: I'm on it! *pulls out shotgun* Just get me close enough to take our their rear tires.  
  
K9999: This ought to put those pigs in their place!  
  
Just as K9999 was about to perform his "Temeee No Icchimae! DM", Natsuki fired her shotgun and took out the van's right rear tire, causing the van to swerve violently and tip over on its' right side. The sudden swerve tossed K9999 off of the van and onto the street, where he bounced for a short distance before falling unconscious. His body stopped a few inches short of hitting the cop car. The two officers got out of the car and surrounded the van, weapons drawn. Angel emerged from the van a little beat- up, but otherwise fine.  
  
Officer Mayuka: Well, well. What's the rush, Speedy Gonzales?  
  
Angel: Would a little bribe change your minds? *pulls out a huge wad of cash*  
  
Officer Natsuki: It certainly would! *takes money from Angel*  
  
Angel: Great! Well, then, I guess I'll be going.  
  
Suddenly, Mayuka slapped a pair of handcuffs on Angel's wrists.  
  
Angel *shocked*: What the?!? I thought you said that a bribe would change your minds!  
  
Officer Mayuka: It did. Now, instead of giving you a ticket for speeding, we're going to book you and your friends for reckless driving and attempting to bribe an officer.  
  
Officer Natsuki: This money's going straight to "Drag Queens In Distress" (a charity for less-fortunate transvestites).  
  
Angel *shocked* Charity?! Drag queens?! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
The two officers took the N.E.S.T.S. team off to the South Police Department, where they would be spending the night in a nice, cozy cell.  
  
Section 19- I ReFuse!  
  
Friday, 4:00pm  
  
Elsewhere, thousands of miles away in another time zone, at Kim Kaphwan's Tae Kwon Do Dojo in South Korea, newcomer May Lee was giving Chang and Choi the workout of a lifetime. As much as the bumbling duo tried to keep up, the two soon wound up falling on their rear ends.  
  
May Lee Jinju: No, no, no! Like this. *strikes super-heroic pose* Great Bomber! Yeah!  
  
Chang Koehan *gasping for breath*: Is it just me, Choi, or does she seem a bit more strict that Jhun?  
  
Choi Bounge *gasping for breath*: It's just you, but I see your point. In fact, I think I'm starting to miss Jhun.  
  
Chang: Don't say that!  
  
Choi: I didn't mean that. What I meant to say is that I miss the new move he taught us. How could I ever forget that?  
  
*begin flashback*  
  
One year ago, in Southtown, outside of the Abandoned Factory:  
  
Kim Kaphwan: The Zero Cannon's heading straight for us!  
  
Jhun Hoon: Hit the deck!  
  
*Zero Cannon lands on top of the Abandoned Factory; Chang and Choi are caught in the explosion*  
  
After the explosion:  
  
Kim: Is everyone all right?  
  
Jhun: I'm okay, but where are Chang and Choi?  
  
Just then, Kim spotted Chang and Choi's smoldering corpses.  
  
Kim: Oh no! They were caught in the explosion!  
  
Choi *in Chang's body*: Uhhh. what happened?  
  
Chang *in Choi's body, shocked*: Holy shiznit! I've shrunken down to midget size!  
  
Choi *in Chang's body, shocked*: What the hell?!? I'm in Chang's body!!  
  
Kim: Whew! Thank goodness they're alive. But it looks like they've switched bodies. Got any ideas as to how we can get them back to normal, Jhun?  
  
Jhun: Well, I'm stumped. *DING!* I've got an idea! It's a crazy one, but it just might work. In order to get the Chang and Choi back into their original bodies, they must perform: the Fusion technique!  
  
Kim: Fusion, you say?  
  
Jhun: I got the idea from an old cartoon called Dragonball Z. It involves combining two beings into one to form a more powerful entity.  
  
Kim: Sounds odd, but I'm willing to give it a shot.  
  
Shortly after teaching the displaced Choi and Chang the Fusion dance.  
  
Jhun: Do it!  
  
Chang and Choi *while performing the Fusion dance*: FU-SION! HA!!!  
  
Suddenly, a bright flash appeared, and in an instant, the two students were one.  
  
Jhun: It worked! It lives! A being with all the strengths of Chang and Choi, yet none of their weaknesses!  
  
Kim: Unbelievable!  
  
A new being emerged from the light, perfectly balanced (not too short or skinny, not too tall or fat), yet retaining the same tae kwon do gi, the same bald head and beard, and the duo's weapons (think Mr. Clean with a beard).  
  
Kim *shocked*: What the.?!  
  
Jhun: I shall name him Choing!  
  
Choing: Behold! I am neither Chang nor Choi; I am the instrument of your destruction! YAAAAAHHHH! *starts attacking Kim and Jhun*  
  
29 minutes later, after Kim and Jhun beat the tar out of Choing.  
  
Kim: You were right. They are a lot stronger when fused into one. Unfortunately, it didn't make them any smarter.  
  
Jhun: I should've known that they would've become more aggressive as a single being. Oh well. Live and learn, I suppose. Hey, their fusion wore off!  
  
Choi: I'm me again!  
  
Chang: Same here. It feels good to be back in my own body.  
  
Kim: Looks like your crazy idea worked after all, Jhun. Now, let's walk on over to Southtown International Airport and head for home.  
  
Chang: Oh hell no! That's at least 20 miles away.  
  
Kim *annoyed*: What was that, Chang? *gives Chang the evil eye*  
  
Chang: Er, I mean, oh hell yeah! That's only 20 miles away.  
  
Kim: That's better. Let's go, my students!  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Chang: *Sigh!* Those were the days.  
  
May Lee: Look alive, you two! I'm not doing this for my own health, you know. Now, let's try the "Great Bomber" pose again.  
  
Chang and Choi: GROAN!  
  
Section 20- Oh Brother!  
  
Half a mile away, in another part of South Korea:  
  
Hayate: Are we there yet?  
  
Kim Sue Il: We're close. Just another half-mile, and we should be there. Soon, I shall be re-united with my brother, whom I haven't seen in many years.  
  
Max Eagle: Yeah, that's all fine and good for you, but what about us? Family reunions are nice and all, but I feel like we're being left out.  
  
Kim Sue Il: There's an amusement park a short distance away from my brother's Tae Kwon Do Dojo. Why don't you three go there, since it might be awhile?  
  
Carol *in cynical tone*: Sure, my idea of a good time is riding a roller coaster next to some fat kid with a weak stomach. It'll be tons of fun, that's for sure.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Did I mention that there's an adult section of the amusement park?  
  
Carol: Sold!  
  
Eagle: I'm in!  
  
Hayate: Same here! Anything with the words "adult" and "amusement" can't be that bad.  
  
A short time later, the Kizuna Encounter team arrived a couple blocks short of Kim's Tae Kwon Do Dojo, when suddenly, they were surrounded by a group of thugs.  
  
Thug 1: Hi there! We're the South Korean Welcoming Committee!  
  
Thug 2: If you'd like to take a tour of South Korea, just hand over all of your belongings and the girl, and we'll arrange something.  
  
Carol: Oh, I'll give you punks something, all right. How about a taste of my chakram?! *gives Xena-like yell before tossing her chakram into the face of one of the thugs*  
  
From there, a huge throw-down began between the thugs and the Kizuna Encounter team.  
  
Hayate *while fighting off a thug*: You go on ahead, Kim. We'll take care of these chumps.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Thanks! *knocks a thug out of his way with his rod* The amusement park's only a block away.  
  
Eagle: Enjoy your family reunion! *body-slams one of the punks*  
  
With that, Kim ran off to his brother's dojo, leaving his teammates to take out the trash.  
  
Hayate: Finally, this trip's starting to look up. *K.O.s one of the punks with his boomerang*  
  
A couple minutes later, Kim arrived at the doorsteps of his brother's dojo.  
  
Kim Sue Il: This must be the place. *knocks on the giant double-doors*  
  
Kim Jae Hoon: I got it!  
  
Kim Dong Hwan: No way! It's my turn to open up the double-doors! (writer's note: Remember, Jae Hoon and Dong Hwan are only nine and ten years old at this time.)  
  
As the two of them opened up the double-doors, they noticed a person who bared an odd resemblance to their father.  
  
Jae Hoon: Who are you?  
  
Kim Sue Il: I'm Kim Sue Il, Kim Kaphwan's younger brother.  
  
Jae Hoon *surprised*: You're my father's long-lost brother?!  
  
Kim Sue Il: Yes I am.  
  
Dong Hwan: No way! I'm not buying into your lies!  
  
Jae Hoon: Why? Is something wrong?  
  
Dong Hwan: He's a body snatcher, I tell ya! He's come here to take our dad away, duplicate his body, and murder all of us in our sleep!  
  
Jae Hoon: Yeah right. *to Kim Sue Il* You have to forgive my brother. He watches a lot of horror movies and thinks everyone's a monster, an alien, or something else.  
  
May Lee: Hey! What are you kids up to? *looks at Kim Sue Il* *GASP!* You look just like master Kim, only a little younger and more casually dressed!  
  
Kim Sue Il: That's because I'm his brother. Hi, I'm Kim Sue Il.  
  
Dong Hwan: He's not his brother! He's a body snatcher who's come to kill us all! Where's my blowtorch?!  
  
Jae Hoon: Your blowtorch?  
  
May Lee: Dong Hwan, have you been watching too many horror movies again?  
  
Dong Hwan: Horror movies? It's the truth, I swear!  
  
Kim Kaphwan: What the heck's going on out here?!  
  
Suddenly, Kim froze at the sight of his long-lost brother.  
  
Kim Kaphwan *speechless*: It can't be! Brother? Is that you?  
  
Kim Sue Il: It is. It's been a long time, big brother.  
  
The two siblings moved in and embraced each other.  
  
May Lee: Aw! How sweet! I think I'm going to cry.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: It's been so many years since I've seen you!  
  
Kim Sue Il: Eight years, to be precise. I've got so many things that I've been meaning to tell you about.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: I'm sure they'll be plenty of time for that. For now, let me introduce you to everyone. I see you've already met my sons, Kim Jae Hoon and Kim Dong Hwan, as well as my prized student, May Lee Jinju.  
  
May Lee: . I'm honored to meet you, sir. I've heard so much about you from master Kim.  
  
Kim Sue Il: The pleasure's all mine.  
  
Jae Hoon: I guess this means you're my uncle.  
  
Kim Sue Il: I guess so, nephew. *to Dong Hwan* Do you still think I'm a body snatcher?  
  
Dong Hwan: Well, if Dad says that you're his brother, then I guess I believe you.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Well then, would a body snatcher be able to do THIS? *performs Hien Zan*  
  
All Three: WHOA! Amazing!  
  
Kim Kaphwan: You're definitely my brother, all right. And to your right are my special students, Chang Koehan and Choi Bounge. *points to Chang and Choi, who are trying to climb up and over the dojo wall*  
  
Kim Sue Il: Allow me to greet them personally. *runs up to where Chang and Choi are, leaps up, and slams their fingers using his rod, forcing the duo to let go and fall on their backs*  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Good eye, brother! Come inside, I want to introduce you to my wife and the rest of my students.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Actually, I've already met your wife. I was at your wedding ten years ago. Remember?  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Oh yeah. Now I remember! Still, I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you after so long.  
  
All four members of the Kim family and May Lee entered Kim's house.  
  
Chang *dazed*: Is it just me, or were we just attacked by a clone of Kim?  
  
Choi *dazed*: What have we done to deserve this?!  
  
Inside.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Kim Sue Il, I'd like to re-introduce you to my wife, Myung Sung Kim.  
  
Myung Sung Kim *to Kim Sue Il*: Hi! What a pleasant surprise! I haven't seen you in ages!  
  
Kim Sue Il: It's nice to see you again, Myung. There's a reason why I haven't kept in touch with you or my brother for the past eight years. I've been in Jipang the entire time.  
  
Kim Kaphwan *surprised*: That's right! I remember getting a letter from you eight years ago, saying that you vowed to free Jipang. What motivated you to quit the South Korean Expeditionary Force and strike out on your own?  
  
Kim Sue Il: There are lots of reasons why I did that. Ten years ago, after you vowed to spread justice to the world through Tae Kwon Do, I wanted to go one step further and help liberate an entire third world nation. I joined the South Korean Expeditionary Force at age 16, and ventured to Jipang in order to help free the people from King Lion's tyranny. Two years and many unsuccessful missions later, I was ordered out of Jipang since the S.K.E.F. called it "a lost cause", but after seeing so many people face so much hardship, I wanted to stay behind and help free the island nation, one way or another. I started off as a street cop in Megalopolis, Jipang's capital city, eventually joined forces with the Jipang Rebel Alliance, and soon worked my way up to Lieutenant Commander. By combining my Tae Kwon Do and battlefield strategies with the J.R.A.'s military prowess and knowledge of the land, we were able to give King Lion's forces a run for their money. Today, thanks to the assistance of various rebel groups and the J.R.A., we've been able to free 60% of Jipang from King Lion's rule. However, he still has control over many of the larger cities and military plants, so the final outcome of this war is still uncertain. On the bright side, though, I've met so many different people that they almost treat me like I'm a role model.  
  
May Lee *impressed*: WOW! That's amazing! One day, I want to be able to help liberate a country just like you.  
  
Kim Sue Il: You sure about that? It's a whole lot of work and sacrifice, and the rewards are few and far in between.  
  
May Lee: I don't mind. As long as I'm fighting in the name of justice, I'll always help those in need! Plus, I've always wondered what it's like in Jipang.  
  
Kim Sue Il: I like you. You've got a lot of spunk.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: So, what brings you here to South Korea?  
  
Kim Sue Il: A couple reasons. First, I wanted to see you and your family, and second, I wanted to let you know that I'll be entering the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
Kim Kaphwan *surprised*: You're kidding!  
  
Kim Sue Il: I'm not joking. I got word of such a tournament after receiving an e-mail from fellow freedom fighter Rosa Himura, stating that she had been given orders from the C.E.O. of Kagura Global Industries to meet up with her and her teammates in Southtown, California, U.S.A. After that, I decided to round up the best fighters in Jipang in order to fight in the KOF tournament NOT to win, but to direct the world's attention to the crisis going on in Jipang.  
  
Myung: Excuse me, gentlemen, but would you like some tea?  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Thanks. That would be lovely.  
  
Myung: Here you go. *hands Kim Sue Il a cup of tea* Hope all that fighting hasn't made you too jaded to enjoy a cup of tea.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Not at all. *drinks tea* Ah, that was refreshing. Now, where was I? Oh yes. As I was saying, there's a crisis going on in Jipang right now. The J.R.A. has petitioned numerous times for international aid, but since Jipang's not recognized by the U.N., all our attempts have been fruitless. I see the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament as my one opportunity to change the world's opinion on Jipang, and at the same time, turn the tide on King Lion's totalitarian regime. So far, nothing major has happened yet, but unless we receive some kind of support from other nations, I fear that the people of Jipang may have to endure King Lion's tyranny for another generation.  
  
Just then, Kim Sue Il's teammates entered Kim Kaphwan's house.  
  
Hayate: Hey Kim! Hope we're not interrupting anything important.  
  
Eagle: We decided to drop on by after we went to that adult amusement park.  
  
Carol: I won a giant stuffed animal!  
  
Eagle: I got to ride the Giga Wave coaster.  
  
Hayate: I beat the stuffing out of a phony Min-Kei Mouse mascot.  
  
Minutes later, after introducing one another to each other.  
  
Dong Hwan: Hey Carol! Watch me flip kick this soccer ball!  
  
Carol: In a minute! *to Kim Kaphwan* You've got such lovely children.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Thank you. I think Dong Hwan likes you.  
  
Carol: What a cute kid! *to Dong Hwan* I'm coming!  
  
Kim Kaphwan: By the way, where are Chang and Choi, my students?  
  
Hayate *shocked*: Your students?! I thought they were wanted criminals, so Eagle, Carol, and I beat the snot out of them.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: That's okay. Everyone makes the same mistake about those two the first time they see them. *to Kim Sue Il* Don't worry, Kim. If you need support in your fight against King Lion, my students and I are here to help.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Thanks, big brother, but let's leave this issue at rest. For now, I want to see what your students are capable of.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Sure thing. Right this way.  
  
Kim, May Lee, and the Kizuna Encounter team went outside to see his students in action.  
  
*switch to a panoramic shot of the courtyard, showing off all of Kim's students in training*  
  
Kim Sue Il *impressed*: Wow! That's quite an array of students you got there, Kim.  
  
May Lee: I know. I was also quite moved when I saw the courtyard the first time I came here a few months back.  
  
Just then, Kim Kaphwan noticed Chang and Choi were dangling from a flagpole.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: What are you two dangling around there for?! Get down here and back to training on the double!  
  
Choi *battered*: Uhhh. *snaps out of daze* That's them, master! Those are the punks that beat the tar out of me and hung me from a flagpole! *points to Kizuna Encounter team*  
  
Chang: Yeah! Stop them before they attack you!  
  
Hayate: Sorry! I though you guys were escaped convicts!  
  
Kim Kaphwan: No need to apologize, Hayate. If anything, it shows that they haven't been training properly. *to Chang and Choi* You two have a lot of work to do once you're off the flagpole.  
  
Chang: We'd like to get down, but we're tied up!  
  
Carol: I'll get them down. *removes safety bar from chakram and tosses it*  
  
The chakram cut through the rope that kept Chang and Choi bound to the flagpole and sent the duo falling to the ground below. After crash-landing on the floor.  
  
Kim Kaphwan: Thanks, Carol. *to Chang and Choi* As for you two, you'll be spending the rest of the afternoon training against my younger brother, Kim Sue Il. They're all yours, Kim.  
  
Kim Sue Il: Thanks, Kim. *to Chang and Choi* Shall we get started?  
  
Chang and Choi: Heaven help us!  
  
Section 21- Daimon Moe Quimby  
  
Friday, 5:30pm  
  
Elsewhere, at Daimon's Judo Dojo in Okayama, Japan, Moe Habana was training hard against Goro Daimon's students.  
  
Goro Daimon: Okay, class. That'll be enough for today. It seems most of you haven't been training properly, as Moe got the better of many of you. Therefore, next time, not only will all of you be facing Moe again, you'll also be going against me.  
  
Judo Student: *Groan!* Do we have to?  
  
Daimon: Would you rather face me now and spend the rest of the day cleaning up the dojo by yourself?  
  
Judo Student: On second thought, I take back what I said.  
  
Daimon: You heard me, people; start training or start cleaning. See you Monday!  
  
After the students left.  
  
Daimon: Great work today, Moe! Your strength has increased noticeably since last class.  
  
Moe Habana: Thanks, Daimon!  
  
Daimon: I've noticed that your fighting technique is similar to Shingo's, only it's more skilled and refined.  
  
Moe: Well, I have been training with Kyo personally, so it should come as no surprise that my moves are similar to his. So, are you ready for this year's King Of Fighters tournament?  
  
Daimon: I'm not sure. It's been awhile since I last participated in a KOF tournament, but I have gotten stronger since the last one, which could explain why my students have been having a hard time keeping up with me. I'm definitely looking forward to fighting alongside my friends once again. What about you? This is going to be your first KOF tournament if I'm not mistaken.  
  
Moe: You're right. It's my first tournament ever. I'm a bit nervous, but so long as I have Kyo by my side, I know things are going to be all right.  
  
Daimon: I know you're going to do great; you've been giving my students a real workout for the past week. One thing still bothers me, though. I haven't heard from Shingo since Kyo kicked him off of the team. How's he dealing with it?  
  
Moe: From what Kyo has told me, he's taken it pretty well. Shingo is currently in Southtown, California, U.S.A. on an extended vacation. While there, he met a few old friends and formed his old team. So, yes, he's doing all right.  
  
Daimon: So he has his own team now, huh? I'm impressed! Shingo's grown up quite a bit since the last couple KOF tournaments. I wish him the best of luck this year, and can't wait to see him and his new team this year. Let's call it a day, clean up, and go grab a bite to eat at a nearby noodle house.  
  
Moe: Sounds good to me!  
  
Section 22- Flowers For Maxima  
  
Friday, 10:00am  
  
At the newly-reconstructed (de-constructed?) Bumtown section of Southtown, K', Maxima, Whip, and Lin were all resting inside of a run-down apartment building.  
  
Maxima: What'cha doing, K'?  
  
K': Brooding. What about you, Maxima?  
  
Maxima: Brooding. What about you, Whip?  
  
Whip: Brooding. What about you, Lin?  
  
Lin: Oh. I'm making a lovely flower arrangement. I think it accents the room nicely, don't you?  
  
*Maxima knocks over the flower bed*  
  
Maxima: Look. There's a reason why we named you the winner of the "Brooding Heroes" contest, and it wasn't because of your ability to make gardens. Now, either start brooding, or start looking for a new team. Got it!?  
  
Lin *depressed*: Yes sir. *goes back to brooding*  
  
A few minutes later.  
  
Whip: That does it. I'm punching out of this depression factory and going for a walk.  
  
Whip exited the building and went out to take in the sights and sounds of Bumtown.  
  
Section 23- Kewl Aid  
  
15 minutes later, in another part of Bumtown.  
  
Darrel: Excuse me, miss. Would you like to buy some Kewl-Aid?  
  
Whip: I don't know... Isn't it supposed to be spelled "K-O-O...".  
  
Phil: It's spelled diff'rently 'cuz it's our own "Special Blend".  
  
Darrel: Please buy some. We need the money to get a new skateboard.  
  
Whip: Oh, alright. *hands Darrel 25 cents; takes a cup and drinks it* Not bad.  
  
Suddenly, a weird feeling overcame Whip.  
  
Whip: Gimme more! *grabs the pitcher and drinks half of it* MMMMM! Fruity! *starts tripping out*  
  
Darrel: Uh-Oh! Looks like she's going on a citric acid trip.  
  
Phil: *takes Whip's whip* Looks like we've got ourselves a new rope!  
  
Darrel: Awesome! I betcha we can find lots of uses for this thing!  
  
Darrel and Phil ran off to another part of the city, while Whip continued her "trippy" march through the city. A few minutes later, she awoke, trying to climb a vending machine.  
  
Whip *dazed*: Uhhhh... what happened? *snaps back to reality* That's right! Those kids sold me their "Kewl-Aid". *GASP!* My whip's been stolen! Those rotten brats must've taken it from me while I was in a trance! Good thing my whip has a built-in tracking signal. *checks wrist-watch* They're not too far from here. I should be able to catch up to them on foot.  
  
Fred: Excuse me, miss. Are you done climbing that vending machine?  
  
Embarrassed, Whip punched his lights out and ran off.  
  
Terry: Fred! Are you all right?  
  
Fred *sobbing*: All I wanted was a bottle of Pabst! Is that so wrong?!  
  
Soon, Whip was able to track her whip down to a sidewalk in front of an apartment building. There, she saw two little girls playing "Jump Rope" with her whip.  
  
Whip: *pulls out her gun* You two! Drop the whip, NOW!  
  
Just then, the two girls calmly stopped jumping rope, turned towards her, and pulled out their guns. At the same time, many of the denizens of the apartment building pulled out their firearms as well. All the weapons were aimed at Whip (many of which had laser sights, which were aimed at Whip's head).  
  
Whip *thinking to herself while sweating bullets*: Oh. Right. I forgot about Ikari Warriors rule #72: Never pull out a gun in the middle of inner city Southtown.  
  
Staring down the barrels of numerous guns, Whip hastily threw out a smoke bomb and made her escape.  
  
Section 24- Extreme Road Skiing  
  
10:30am  
  
Whip *thinking to herself while hiding in a dumpster*: Dammit! I can't get past that much resistance without killing someone. I guess I'm going to have to wait until the opposition dies down before I can retrieve my whip.  
  
Suddenly, Whip heard the voices of Darrel and Phil in the distance.  
  
Darrel: Thanks for guarding our rope, ladies.  
  
Little Girl 1: You're welcome. What'cha gonna use the rope for?  
  
Phil: We're going to do something really cool. It's called "Extreme Road Skiing"!  
  
Little Girl 2: Wow! That sounds awesome!  
  
Phil: It is! Got the skies ready, Darrel?  
  
Darrel: You bet! *places skies on shoes*  
  
Phil: Excellent! Now all we gotta do is wait for a truck to pass on by. Here it comes! Get ready!  
  
Spotting an oncoming "Heir Hair" truck, Darrel waited for it to come to a complete stop at the light before using Whip's whip to latch on to the back of the truck. As the truck started moving, so did Darrel.  
  
Darrel: YEEEEEEEHHAAAAAAAHH!!  
  
At the same time, Whip emerged from the dumpster.  
  
Whip: Give me back my whip, you little brat!  
  
Suddenly, Phil and the two little girls pulled out their guns.  
  
Phil: *weapon drawn* Hold it right there, G.I. Jane! You're not going anywhere.  
  
Whip kicked Phil in the teeth and slammed the two girls' heads together. Unfortunately, the truck had already pulled too far away for her to catch up on foot. Desperately searching for a ride, Whip found a midget driving a Shriners car.  
  
Whip: *weapon drawn* Get out of the car! NOW!  
  
Forcing the midget out of his vehicle, Whip carjacked the tiny car and began pursuing Heir Hair's truck.  
  
Darrel: WHEEEEE! *notices Whip* Oh shazbot!  
  
Pulling out her gun, Whip opened fire on Darrel, but Darrel evaded the oncoming shots, forcing them to hit Heir Hair's truck.  
  
Enos: Hey! You no get Heir Hair's hair!  
  
Frustrated by Darrel's skillful dodging, Whip shot out the right rear tire of the truck, which sent the truck skidding and tossed Darrel and the whip off into a pile of trash cans. Whip stopped the Shriners car about a foot away from where Darrel landed, got out, and went up to where he was.  
  
Whip: I believe this is mine. *takes back whip*  
  
Suddenly, Darrel pulled out his gun.  
  
Darrel *panicking*: S-Stay back!  
  
Whip kicked Darrel's gun away from his hands.  
  
Whip: You've been giving me quite a bit of trouble. Now I'm going to make you my b*tch! *starts giving Darrel a serious whipping*  
  
After giving Darrel the whipping of his life, Whip calmly walked back to where her teammates were brooding. A short distance away, Heir Hair's truck had crashed into a phone booth after losing its right rear tire.  
  
Enos: Oh no! Heir Hair gonna kill me!  
  
Section 25- Great Principal Temjin (GPT)  
  
11:50am  
  
At Harry Connick Jr. High School in Southtown, Kasumi and Shingo were taking notes in their Biology class.  
  
Dr. George West: .and yes, there will be a test next Friday. Any questions?  
  
Justin Maynard: Yes. How come Kasumi and Shingo don't have to take the test?  
  
Dr. West: Kasumi and Shingo will be competing in the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament next Friday, and thus, they are exempt from taking any and all tests that fall on that week.  
  
Skyler Rhodes *shocked*: What?! That's BS!  
  
*bell rings*  
  
Dr. West: That's it for today, class. Have a great weekend!  
  
At the lockers.  
  
Kasumi: Good thing we don't have to take next week's test, huh, Shingo?  
  
Shingo: I don't know. I actually kind of like Biology.  
  
Suddenly, a small group of bullies surrounded the two.  
  
Shingo: *sigh* What do you want, Justin?  
  
Justin: We're going to kick your sorry asses!  
  
Kasumi: Look, just because we don't have to take next week's test in Biology, and just because you're terrible in just about every class except for P.E., doesn't mean that you should bully us around.  
  
Skyler *angered*: That does it! I'm going to kick your Rice-A-Roni ass back to Saigon!  
  
Shingo easily dodged Skyler's oncoming blow, and countered with his "115 Shiki: Dokugami Mikansei". From there, a fight broke out between the duo and the seven jocks. Kasumi tossed the bullies left and right, while Shingo gave the thugs a serious pounding. Suddenly, a powerful authority figure jumped in to break up the fight.  
  
Principal Temjin: What's going on here?!  
  
Shingo *surprised*: Oh! Principal Temjin!  
  
Kasumi: They started it! *points to jocks*  
  
Principal Temjin: Is that so? *grabs Justin by his shirt collar* Is this any way to treat a foreign exchange student?  
  
Justin *angered*: Stay out of this fight, old man! *pulls out switchblade*  
  
Noticing that Justin had a weapon in his hands, Temjin leapt back and sent up an energy wave, which tossed Justin into the lockers and forced him to drop his switchblade.  
  
Principal Temjin: Mister, you're expelled! *punches Justin's lights out*  
  
And with that, the fight ended as suddenly as it had begun.  
  
Shingo: Thanks for breaking up the fight, Principal Temjin.  
  
Principal Temjin: Please, call me "Great" Principal Temjin. Are you kids all right?  
  
Kasumi: We're fine. In fact, I think we needed that little workout.  
  
Principal Temjin: Good. I'm glad that both of you are okay. I'll make sure that these guys (or anyone else, for that matter) never bully you again.  
  
Shingo: Thanks a ton. *to Kasumi* I'm starving. Let's go get some lunch.  
  
Kasumi: Yeah!  
  
Section 26- Tonka Tough!  
  
1:00pm  
  
At the Southtown Construction Yard.  
  
Terry: Feeling better, Fred?  
  
Fred: *nose bandaged up* Well, the bleeding's stopped, and the swelling's going down, so I should be all right in about a couple hours.  
  
Terry: Fred, you're one of the only old guys I know who can take a bomb blast, fall 50 feet into a pile of sand, get whacked over the back of the head by a beer bottle, get punched in the face, and still have enough energy to chase around women and help take care of Rock. Sometimes, you just simply amaze me. How do you do it?  
  
Fred: You could say I'm built Tonka tough!  
  
Terry: I see. Well, anyways, I gotta leave work early in order to go down to Los Angeles.  
  
Fred: Have a good time down there. Hopefully, I'll see you on TV. As for me, I've also got to bail out early in order to attend a police lineup.  
  
Terry: What have you done this time? Harass a female cop?  
  
Fred: No, not that kind of lineup! They finally caught the group who beat me up and nearly froze me to death about a week ago, and I'm supposed to identify them from the lineup.  
  
Terry: That sounds like fun. *checks watch* Well, I gotta run. See you Monday!  
  
Fred: Bye, Terry! Let me know if you get your hands on Jennifer Lopez. RRROW!  
  
Terry left for L.A. via West Subway's silver line.  
  
Section 27- The Southtown Thugs Team Is Born!  
  
At the same time, at Brooder's Coffee House.  
  
Ryuji Yamazaki: So, you want us to be your teammates?  
  
Billy: That's right. I got the orders directly from Big Boss himself.  
  
Eiji Kisaragi: I'm in! It's been too damn long since I've been in a King Of Fighters tournament. Besides, I still have to get revenge for what Kyokugen and Iori Yagami have done to me.  
  
Yamazaki: What did they do to you, anyways?  
  
Eiji: They both beat me up and stole my wallet.  
  
Billy: I see. Where's Laurence, by the way?  
  
Eiji: He should've been here ten minutes ago. His flight probably got delayed.  
  
Billy: So, Yamazaki, are you in?  
  
Yamazaki: I guess so. It's not like I've got anything better to do, aside from terrorizing people and robbing banks.  
  
Suddenly, a mysterious woman wearing a purple bandana appeared in front of the villainous trio.  
  
Sinclair: Hola, mi amigos!  
  
Yamazaki: Who the hell are you?  
  
Sinclair: I'm Sinclair (from Art Of Fighting 3), Wyler's former bodyguard- turned-assassin-for-hire.  
  
Billy: And you are here why?  
  
Sinclair: I overheard you guys needed a fourth member for this year's King Of Fighters tournament, so I was wondering if I could join you guys.  
  
Billy: Let me discuss this with my other teammates. *the trio gets into a huddle and discusses what they should do* Here's the deal: if Laurence doesn't show up in about ten minutes, then you're on the team. Deal?  
  
Sinclair: Deal! Mind if I join you guys for a tre-latte?  
  
Billy: Not at all.  
  
As time passed by, the four villains discussed their arch-nemeses, and the ways they'd like to kill them. Ten minutes later.  
  
Yamazaki: Time's up. Guess Laurence won't be joining us, after all. Looks like you're on the team, Sinclair.  
  
As Yamazaki spoke, a bus pulled up nearby Brooder's Coffee House. Off of the bus appeared Laurence Blood, Spanish bullfighter and Lord Wolfgang Krauser's right-hand man.  
  
Laurence Blood: Hola, mi amigos! Sorry I'm late. Somebody stole my limo ride into Southtown and I had to take the bus instead.  
  
Sinclair: Well then, maybe you should've taken a earlier flight. You're too late! The fourth spot on this team is mine!  
  
Laurence: Fat chance, wench! I'm taking you off of the team and into ER!  
  
Sinclair: Bring in on, you Spanish fluke!  
  
At that moment, the two combatants began swinging their swords at one another. Amid the whirlwind of punches, kicks, and sword swipes, each person stood their ground.  
  
Yamazaki and Eiji: ECW! ECW!  
  
Billy: Come on, Laurence! Slug her like you've got a drink in ya!  
  
Eventually, Sinclair gained the upper hand, and after knocking Laurence's sword out of his hands, she stuck her sword near his throat, about to claim victory. Suddenly, a whole bunch of shurikens flew into Sinclair, killing her instantly.  
  
Billy *shocked*: What the hell was that all about?!?!?  
  
Eiji: I'm a ninja; I'm supposed to flip out and kill people.  
  
Yamazaki: Gotta agree with Eiji. Besides, Sinclair didn't belong here in the first place.  
  
Billy: *SIGH!* Never mind. Laurence, once you've pulled yourself together, help us ditch Sinclair's body.  
  
Laurence: Sure thing, Billy!  
  
The four villains took Billy's SUV (loaned to him by Geese Howard) to a nearby power plant, where they disposed of Sinclair's body.  
  
Billy: Anyone have any last words for Sinclair?  
  
Yamazaki: Yeah! Let's barbeque the b*tch!  
  
All: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
Billy tossed Sinclair's body into the incinerator and closed the door.  
  
Billy: Well, that takes care of that. Now let's go wreak havoc!  
  
Later, at the drive-in-window to Scooter's:  
  
Drive-Thru Window Guy: Can I help you?  
  
Billy: Yes, I'd like four Big Beefers, four Funky Fries, three Cokes, a Sprite, and two Apple-licious Pastries.  
  
Eiji: Hey! I want an Apple-licious Pastry, too!  
  
Billy: Make that three Apple-licious Pastries.  
  
Section 28- Penalty Box  
  
1:30pm  
  
At the Southtown Police Department, the N.E.S.T.S. team was stuck in the slammer following last night's incident.  
  
Diana: Let us out of here, you goddamn pigs! Do you have any idea who you're dealing with?! I'm a member of N.E.S.T.S., and I demand that you let us go right now!  
  
Criminal 1: Yeah! I'm also a member of N.E.S.T.S.!  
  
Mitch Ferdinand: Me too!  
  
Diana: Shut up!  
  
Foxy: Forget it, Diana. These are the Southtown Police we're dealing with; they don't listen to anyone, innocent or guilty. All we can do now is wait for backup to arrive and free us from this dump.  
  
Criminal 2: Hey there, cutey! How would you like to make out right here and now?  
  
Angel: Come within two feet of me, and I'll tear your jaw off!  
  
Criminal 2: I wasn't talking to you. I was talking to your blue-haired friend over there.  
  
Embarrassed, K9999 threw Criminal 2 ferociously into the wall.  
  
Diana: Well, well, it looks like K9999 has himself a boyfriend.  
  
K9999 *embarrassed*: Shut up! Just SHUT UP!  
  
30 minutes later, Fred Boggs was called in to help identify the people who nearly killed him last week. He brought along his young nephew, Rock Howard, to help him out.  
  
Officer Kincaid: Okay, Mr. Boggs. We need for you to point out which group was responsible for attacking you last week. Bring in the suspects!  
  
*line-up shows four different groups: the punks from Yu Yu Hakusho; the boys from WeiB Kreuz; the trio from Magic Knight Rayearth; and the N.E.S.T.S. team*  
  
Fred: *points to group 4* That's them, officer! Those are the people who tried to kill me!  
  
Rock Howard *shocked*: Don't do it, Uncle Fred! Don't send the Ice Cream Lady off to jail!  
  
Fred: Rock, its time I taught you a little something about life. No matter how good-looking someone is on the outside, they can be very bad on the inside, and in order to keep the bad people away from the good, they must be put away for a very long time in order for them to PAY FOR WHAT THEY'VE DONE! You understand, right?  
  
Rock: I guess so.  
  
Fred: Good boy. Now let's go home so I can get some rest.  
  
Officer Kincaid: Thank you for your co-operation, Mr. Boggs. *to Officer Greene* Send group 4 back to the slammer; the other groups are free to go.  
  
Ten minutes later.  
  
Foxy: You'd better spring us out of here, Officer Kincaid, or there will be grave consequences!  
  
Officer Kincaid: Like what? Are you going to call in your N.E.S.T.S. buddies and have them wipe out everyone here? Are they going to send out Agent Yumanara and have her free you from this place? Are you going to then lie to your boss and tell him that it was my fault that you ended up here, and not your own?  
  
Foxy *surprised*: How do you know so much about N.E.S.T.S.?  
  
Officer Kincaid: Let's just say that I've known about them for quite some time. In fact. *removes facial mask, revealing his true identity*.you could even say I'm one of them!  
  
Diana, Foxy, and Angel *shocked*: *GASP!* KRIZALID!  
  
Krizalid: That's Officer Krizalid to you, punks!  
  
Section 29- Free The Ice Cream Lady!  
  
K9999 *angered*: You bastard! What the hell is the meaning behind all this?!  
  
Krizalid: What, indeed. I'm doing this to get back at you, K9999 and Angel, for what you two did to me during the N.E.S.T.S. High School Prom!  
  
*cue flashback*  
  
Five months ago, at the Baltimore Convention Center:  
  
Krizalid: But Angel, you promised to be my date for the prom!  
  
Angel: I promised to walk you to the door of the prom, NOT be your date for the prom. Let's go, K9999!  
  
K9999: HA-HA! Guess who got the girl, loser? How does it feel to be dateless and obsolete?!  
  
Krizalid *angered*: That does it! I'm taking my date back from you! RAHHH!  
  
K9999: Get out of my SIGHT! *performs "Power Is. Losing Control. UWAAAAA! SDM", launching Krizalid out of the Convention Center and onto the street*  
  
Angel: *whistles* He won't be getting up from that one anytime soon.  
  
K9999: Shall we go inside?  
  
Angel: But of course!  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Krizalid: Since that day, I had plotted how I would be able to get revenge on all of you. Eventually, I got the idea of posing as a policeman for the Southtown P.D., and the rest is history. It was merely coincidental that you four should happen to show up here, after failing a simple retrieve & destroy mission. Better get comfortable, you're going to be here for a while.  
  
Diana: You won't get away with this, Krizalid!  
  
Krizalid: Oh? And how exactly do you plan on getting me back? By killing me in my sleep? By murdering all my fellow officers? I wouldn't try it. Kill me, and N.E.S.T.S. will brand you as traitors and murderers for killing a fellow elite agent. Kill the officers of this precinct, and you'll be wanted criminals known the world over. Not only that, N.E.S.T.S. will disavow any knowledge of the incident, leaving you guys to face the world by yourselves.  
  
Foxy: What is it you want, you conniving megalomaniac?  
  
Krizalid: Oh, there are lots of things I want from you guys, but right now, I want to watch you suffer.  
  
Meanwhile, a short distance away from the Southtown Police Department.  
  
Rock: Uncle Fred? I have to go back to the police station. I think I left something back there.  
  
Fred: Okay then. You already know the way back home. Just don't tell your dad I'm doing this for you. Be careful.  
  
Rock: Thanks. I'll be back home soon.  
  
Rock ran back to the police station.  
  
Five minutes later, Rock made his way through the police station and into the holding cells.  
  
Rock: Hey! Ice Cream Lady!  
  
Angel: Rock Howard!  
  
Krizalid: Hey kid! You're not allowed in here! Visiting hours are over! Go away!  
  
Rock: No! I'm not leaving until you free the Ice Cream Lady and her friends!  
  
Krizalid: What are you going to do about it? Throw a temper tantrum?  
  
Rock: No. REPPUKEN! *fires a "Reppuken" at Krizalid*  
  
Krizalid: FUUNAZOOOOOHH! *falls unconscious*  
  
Angel *surprised*: Whoa! I didn't know he could do that!  
  
Having K.O.ed Krizalid, Rock went up to him, took his keys, and freed the N.E.S.T.S. team.  
  
Diana: Nice work, kid! How did you do that attack?  
  
Rock: I learned it from my dad.  
  
Foxy: Thanks for freeing us, Rock! Let's get out of here before Krizalid wakes up.  
  
Grabbing their goods from the evidence locker, the N.E.S.T.S. team escaped from the Southtown Police Department before any of the other officers could notice.  
  
Diana: I've gone ahead and radioed headquarters. A quadjet should be heading our way within the next 30 minutes. We'd better get going before any of the other officers discover that we've escaped.  
  
Angel: Wait a second! We need to give Rock a little reward for freeing us. *to Rock* What do you want, kiddo?  
  
Rock: I want a sundae!  
  
A couple minutes later, at Mr. Mark's Ice Cream Parlor.  
  
Rock: This triple fudge sundae is delicious!  
  
Angel: Can I have a taste?  
  
Rock: Sure!  
  
Angel: *tastes the sundae* MMMMM! Yummy!  
  
Foxy *whispering to Diana*: I was wondering- maybe we should make Rock a member of N.E.S.T.S.  
  
Diana *whispering to Foxy*: That wouldn't be a good idea. He's the son of Geese Howard.  
  
Foxy *whispering to Diana; surprised*: He is?!  
  
Diana *whispering to Foxy*: You didn't already know that? I thought his "Reppuken" attack would've given it away. Anyways, if we took his son, we'd be facing the wrath of someone who has beaten hundreds of opponents and returned from death twice. I doubt that even K9999 would be able to stop him. In other words, we'd better leave Rock alone. Besides, I'm sure he'll be more powerful when he gets older.  
  
K9999: *slurps on Chocolate Shakey* Ahh! Chocolately!  
  
A short time later, after dropping Rock off at his home.  
  
Rock: Will I ever see you guys again?  
  
Angel: You will, at the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
Rock: Awesome! I'll be sure to look for you guys there! See ya!  
  
Angel: Bye, Rock!  
  
Foxy: Thanks again for saving us!  
  
As Rock entered his home, the N.E.S.T.S. team ran off to their rendezvous point in order to catch their ride home.  
  
Section 30- Hawaiian Diversion  
  
11:00am  
  
Elsewhere, in Maui, Hawaii, Kyo and Yuki were taking in the beautiful sights of the Hawaiian beaches.  
  
Yuki: Isn't it lovely out here, Kyo?  
  
Kyo Kusanagi: It certainly is, Yuki.  
  
(Editor's Note: Rather than interrupt the serene scene with something ridiculous, like Shingo making a sudden surprise appearance, or having Iori knock over K's sandcastle, I've decided to leave the scene as is, with no twists whatsoever. This message brought to you by the Hawaiian Tourist Board, who reminds you that anytime is a great time to visit Hawaii. Come on down today!)  
  
Section 31- Out Of Obscurity  
  
Meanwhile, 300 years in the past, in feudal Japan, a lone ninja was spying upon a rival ninja clan. Quietly, he leapt from tree to tree, keeping his eyes open for any oncoming traps.  
  
Hanzo *thinking to himself*: An Iga ninja must remain forever vigilant. He must be able to identify all traps and enemies under the cover of darkness. He must never make himself known to anyone, foe and villager alike.  
  
Suddenly, Hanzo's foot ensnared itself in a trap, which left him hanging upside-down. A few seconds later, a bunch of ninjas gathered on the ground beneath Hanzo.  
  
Hanzo *thinking to himself*: Dammit! I should've seen that trap coming, but I didn't. Is this the end of my illustrious ninja career?  
  
Just as the rival ninjas were about to kill him, a bright flash appeared out of nowhere, blinding everyone but Hanzo, who identified what the flash was.  
  
Hanzo *surprised*: Dr. Brown?!  
  
It was indeed Dr. Brown, and using his time machine, he was able to travel back to the past.  
  
Dr. Brown: Time to go, old friend. *pulls out dagger and frees Hanzo*  
  
Hanzo *surprised*: What are you doing here? Where are you taking me?!  
  
Dr. Brown: To the present.  
  
With that, Dr. Brown, Hanzo, and the time machine disappeared before any of the enemy ninjas could notice.  
  
Present day, 3:00pm  
  
At the Dr. Brown Institute For Chronological Research in Tucson, Arizona, Dr. Brown had just returned from the past with Hanzo in tow.  
  
Dr. Brown: Ah! There's no time like the present!  
  
Hanzo: You still haven't told me what's going on. Why do need me here in the present?  
  
Dr. Brown: You'll see soon enough. For now, there are a few familiar faces I'd like to reintroduce you to.  
  
Dr. Brown and Hanzo exited the time chamber and went through the double doors into the main hallway.  
  
Dr. Brown: First of all, let me know if this first person seems familiar to you.  
  
The duo entered the meeting lounge, where Fuuma was sitting back, relaxing.  
  
Fuuma: Yo! Hanzo! What's up? Been awhile, hasn't it?  
  
Hanzo: Oh, great! It's only Fuuma. Looks like you haven't changed a bit. Still pretending to be a ninja, I see.  
  
Fuuma: What do you mean "still pretending"? I've always been a ninja, even when working around the clock in my secret identity.  
  
Dr. Brown: Settle down, you two. The main reason why I've called you guys here is because I wanted to form my own team for the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
Fuuma *surprised*: You mean THE King Of Fighters tournament?! That's awesome! I've always wanted to compete alongside living legends like Terry Bogard and Ryo Sakazaki.  
  
Hanzo: Count me out. I'm not working with some workaholic who claims to be a ninja.  
  
Fuuma: Hey! At least I don't spend my days digging food out of dumpsters! *impersonating Hanzo* Look at me! I'm Hanzo! I eat trash and never bathe!  
  
Hanzo: So says the guy who hasn't had a date in years.  
  
Fuuma: You're one to talk! I thought Iga ninjas weren't allowed to fall in love.  
  
Dr. Brown *irritated*: That's enough! Maybe this next person will calm you down. Come on in, Ryoko.  
  
At that moment, the doors swung open.  
  
Ryoko: Hanzo, my love! *jumps on top of Hanzo and tackles him to the floor*  
  
Hanzo: Get off me!  
  
Ryoko: It's been two years seen we last saw each other, but I knew that nothing, not even time, could keep us apart.  
  
Hanzo: "Your" love? What the heck are you talking about? I don't love you. In fact, since when do you remember me saying that I love you?  
  
Ryoko *insulted*: Humph! I thought you'd be happy to see me after two years, but NO! All that ninja training has gone straight to your head, you big pookie!  
  
Hanzo *annoyed*: Don't call me that!  
  
Fuuma: Funny, I always thought you liked them young, Hanzo. Now that she's two years older, at least she's helped bridge the age gap between you and her. You should at least be happy about that.  
  
Ryoko: See? Even Fuuma knows how to treat a girl right. *to Fuuma* Thanks for the compliment. You still look good for your age.  
  
Fuuma: Thanks. You've also grown pretty nicely.  
  
Hanzo: *blushing* I'm not in love with anyone. I am an Iga ninja, and as such, I can never have a girlfriend.  
  
Ryoko: Oh, pshaw! You always say that. When are you going to learn that such mumbo-jumbo doesn't even matter in the long run?  
  
Fuuma: Being the thick-headed moron he is, probably never.  
  
Dr. Brown: Okay. let's see if the fourth person makes things any better. Say hello to Janne!  
  
Janne entered the meeting lounge.  
  
Janne: Greetings, Dr. Brown. Hello everyone.  
  
Fuuma *awestruck*: Janne! You're still as gorgeous as ever! Give me a big old hug!  
  
As Fuuma ran up to Janne, she elbowed him in the back of his neck.  
  
Fuuma: Ouch. You've still got those lightning-quick reflexes, I see.  
  
Janne: It's nice to see you too, Fuuma. It's also nice to see you two again, Hanzo and Ryoko.  
  
Ryoko: Sister Ryoko! *jumps up and tackles Janne to the ground* You also haven't changed a bit. You're still as soft as ever!  
  
Janne: *blushing* Uh, would you mind getting off me? *picks herself off the floor* So, what's the purpose of this reunion, Dr. Brown?  
  
Dr. Brown: Well, I've already told Hanzo and Fuuma the reason why, but I'll repeat in again. Recently, I decided to put my time machine back into commission and seek out my favorite fighters from the past and present in order to compete in this year's King Of Fighters tournament.  
  
Ryoko: WOW! I love the King Of Fighters! So many fresh faces, so many different teams, and that Kyo Kusanagi's a real hottie! Where do I sign up?!  
  
Janne: Sounds interesting. I look forward to being able to test my skills against a diverse range of fighters. And who knows? Maybe I'll finally be able to find my one true love.  
  
Dr. Brown: So, what do you say, Hanzo? There are lots of fighters in this tournament who say they're better than you are. It'd be a good opportunity for you to face some of the best fighters this time period has to offer.  
  
Hanzo: *sigh* All right. I guess I'll join the team.  
  
Dr. Brown: You made the right choice, Hanzo. Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go dig up another team from the past. Professora Moreno will help take care of your accommodations.  
  
Fuuma: Who's Professora Moreno?  
  
Dr. Brown: My Spanish niece. See you later.  
  
Dr. Brown exited the meeting lounge and headed back to his time machine.  
  
Section 32- It's Time To Shodown!  
  
Meanwhile, 225 years in the past, in a village somewhere in feudal Japan, Haohmaru, Galford, Nakoruru, and Rimururu were all taking a little stroll around town. Suddenly, Dr. Brown appeared out of nowhere, pulled them into his time machine, and returned to the present.  
  
Present time, 3:30pm  
  
Inside of the time chamber.  
  
Dr. Brown: Welcome to the future!  
  
Nakoruru: It's nice to see you again, Dr. Brown.  
  
Galford *surprised*: You know this guy?  
  
Nakoruru: Of course. This is my third time in this era. The first time I was here was as a Celebrity Striker during the King Of Fighters 2000 tournament, and the second time was during the Capcom Vs. SNK 2 tournament. Dr. Brown has sent me here every time.  
  
Haohmaru: This is only my second time here, but I already know more than enough to get by.  
  
Galford *surprised*: I never knew that!  
  
Nakoruru: Don't worry, Galford. I'll help you and Rimururu get adjusted to this era's customs and such.  
  
Rimururu *to Dr. Brown*: Why are we here, anyways?  
  
Dr. Brown: You guys are here to represent the Samurai Spirits team as part of the exhibition match for the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament.  
  
Galford *shocked*: What?! Only an exhibition match?! I thought we were gonna be competing in the actual tournament!  
  
Dr. Brown: Sorry, Galford, but sharp-edged weapons are not allowed to be used by new King Of Fighters competitors. The officials came upon this rule after some guy named "Mutilator" attacked the Psycho Soldiers team during the KOF 2000 tournament. By having it be an exhibition match, you guys can go all out with whatever weapons you've got, be they sharp-edged or not. Not only that, you'll also be facing a team that's nearly equal to you in terms of overall skill. You'll be lucky if you have any energy left over after the battle.  
  
Haohmaru: Sounds interesting. Who is this mysterious team?  
  
Dr. Brown: Oh, you'll see soon enough. For now, let me introduce you to my niece, Professora Gabrielle Moreno. Come on in, Professora.  
  
*Professora Moreno enters the time chamber*  
  
Professora Moreno: Hola, Dr. Brown. Hola, cada uno.  
  
Dr. Brown: Professora, have you retrieved the opposing team?  
  
Professora Moreno: Si. In fact, they're waiting in the meeting lounge right now.  
  
Dr. Brown: Good work, Professora. *to Samurai Spirits team* If you'll follow me this way, I'll show you your opponents for the exhibition match.  
  
Meanwhile, in the meeting lounge:  
  
Kaede: Hey, Moriya. Remember what happened after my battle with Kouryu?  
  
Minakata Moriya: Oh yeah. How could I forget?  
  
*cue flashback*  
  
Yuki: Farewell, Kaede.  
  
Kaede: Yuki! Don't go!  
  
Yuki: Sorry, Kaede, but I must help Gaisei seal off Hell's Gate. Goodbye!  
  
Kaede: *shrugs* Oh well. Your loss. In that case, I hereby name Hibiki Takane the sexiest female of this year's Last Blade tournament! Congratulations, Hibiki!  
  
Yuki *shocked*: WHAT?!?!?  
  
Hibiki Takane *surprised*: I-I won?! I don't know what to say!  
  
Yuki *slowly disappearing*: NOOOOOOOO!! *vanishes*  
  
Akari Ichijou: BOOOO! That contest was rigged, I tell you!  
  
Moriya: What are you talking about? You're only 14 years old.  
  
Akari: Yeah, well, I can't help it if young men ages 12-18 find me irresistibly cute.  
  
Moriya: Yeah, until they find out that you never bathe.  
  
Akari: HEY!  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Moriya: If Yuki didn't disappear on us, we wouldn't have been stuck with that miserable Akari brat for the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament. But, at least I got to see Yuki naked in bed a few weeks before she disappeared for good. *grins*  
  
Kaede: Oh, sure. Savor the moment while you still can. Professora Moreno told me she would find a way to bring back Yuki somehow.  
  
Moriya: I'd like to see her try.  
  
Akari: *spins around on a rotating chair* WHEEE! These spinning chairs are lots of fun!  
  
Hibiki: Settle down, would you? We're here as guests, so at least try to behave like one.  
  
Akari: AWW! You're such a downer, Hibiki.  
  
Two minutes later, Dr. Brown, Professora Moreno, and the Samurai Spirits team entered the meeting lounge.  
  
Professora Moreno: Samurai Spirits team, say hello to Kaede, Minakata Moriya, Hibiki Takane, and Akari Ichijo- The Last Blade team!  
  
Both teams greeted one another.  
  
Galford *to Kaede*: Nice hair!  
  
Kaede *to Galford*: Thanks! I like your hairdo as well.  
  
Nakoruru: How do you do, Hibiki? It's nice to see you again.  
  
Hibiki: Pleased to me you once more, Nakoruru.  
  
Rimururu *angered* YOU! You stole the title of "SNK's Cutest Female" from me!  
  
Akari *angered*: What do you mean "stole?" I won it fair and square! *pulls down eyelid and sticks out tongue*  
  
Rimururu *angry*: That does it! I'm taking the title back from you, one way or another!  
  
Just as the two girls were about to lunge at each other, Dr. Brown pulled out a riot foam extinguisher and sprayed it all over Akari and Rimururu, trapping the two in rapidly hardening foam.  
  
Rimururu *struggling*: Urgh! Can't. move!  
  
Akari *struggling*: Same here! It feels like. I'm stuck in. natto!  
  
Dr. Brown: Settle down, children. Save it for when you have to fight each other next week.  
  
Hibiki: Excuse me, Dr. Brown? Where are we going to be staying during our time here?  
  
Dr. Brown: I'm glad you asked. All of you will be staying at the fabulous Princess Hotel and Resort, located just a few miles away from here. Here, have a look. *hands out pamphlets*  
  
Kaede: Wow! Looks nice, but what's a "mini-bar"? And what are "massage parlors"?  
  
Hibiki: Don't worry, guys. I can help you all get acquainted with the modern era's society, since I've been here before. (Writer's Note: Hibiki was in Capcom VS. SNK 2.)  
  
Kaede: Well then, I guess we'd better start seeing what this era has to offer. *to Galford* See you next week!  
  
Galford: Later, Kaede! *to everyone else* Let's go check out this "Princess" Hotel!  
  
With that, the two teams went their separate ways, carrying off their younger teammates in the process.  
  
Section 33- It's Time To Press Your Luck!  
  
4:00pm  
  
At the Todoh household, Kasumi and Shingo had just returned home after a long day at school.  
  
Kula: Welcome back. How was school today?  
  
Shingo: Aside from getting into a big fight with a bunch of bullies, not very exciting; but we gave the bullies a beating they'll never forget!  
  
Kasumi: *checks watch* Oh my goodness! It's four o' clock! Go to channel 57, pronto!  
  
Chris: Game Show Network? But why?  
  
Kasumi: They're showing a special "King Of Fighters" edition of "Whammy: The All-New Press Your Luck"!*  
  
Chris: Sounds very interesting! I wonder who'll be competing? *changes channel to Game Show Network*  
  
*on TV*  
  
Host: Hello, everyone! Welcome to a very special edition of Whammy! On today's show, we've invited three King Of Fighters veterans to compete against one another for cash that'll be going to the charity of their choice, and prizes for themselves. Hey, even fighters need some incentives to keep going. Now, let's bring out today's contestai!  
  
Yuri: Hi! I'm Yuri Sakazaki, from Southtown, California, and I'm here to get my own motorcycle! WOOOOOHH!  
  
Shermie: Hi! I'm Shermie, from Lyon, France, and I want to take my own world tour!  
  
Chris *surprised*: Shermie's on Whammy!? What a twisted, yet pleasant surprise! GO SHERMIE!  
  
Terry: Hey! I'm Terry Bogard, from Southtown, California, and I've come for the Gem Car! YEAH!  
  
Kasumi *surprised*: No way! Terry's on Whammy?! I don't know if I should laugh or cheer.  
  
Shortly after introducing themselves, the first round got underway. After a few run-throughs, Yuri got the unfortunate luck of getting a Whammy, and was knocked out of the first round. Terry, on the other hand, got the Gem Card (which grants him the chance to win the Gem Car in the second round) and a nice small chunk of change, while Shermie got a whole lotta dough by landing on the big spaces, and shortly after "freezing" where she was, wound up the leader after the first round (and because of this, she got to play last in the second round).  
  
Chris: YEAH! SHER-MIE! SHER-MIE!  
  
Kula: Wow! I never knew this show was so exciting!  
  
Kasumi: Oh, just you wait until the second round. That's when the real fun begins!  
  
Following the commercial break, all three contestants talked about the charities they were playing for (Yuri was playing for "Bunnies For Babies", a non-profit group that donates stuffed bunnies to less-fortunate mothers and their babies; Shermie was playing for "One-Hit Woes", an organization that helps support one-hit wonder artists [like Vanilla Ice]; Terry was playing for the Southtown Orphanage, the place where he and his brother lived for a short time following their father's death). Following the "Questions" round, Terry jumped into the lead with nine spins (thanks to his knowledge of pop culture), while Yuri and Shermie followed closely behind with eight spins each.  
  
Soon, the second round was underway. After getting off to a bad start by landing on a "Double Whammy" (and getting nailed by a bunch of mini- basketballs), Yuri rallied by landing on the Big Bucks spaces, and soon jumped out to a slight lead over Shermie. After passing her last two spins to Shermie, it was Terry's turn. Terry racked up a good deal of money, and managed to get a trip to the Bahamas as well as the lead, but he never landed on the "Gem Car" spot. After using up all of his spins, Shermie stepped up to the plate. As she built up an insurmountable lead from landing on the "Big Bucks + A Spin" spot, Shermie seemed to have this one in the bag. On her next spin, however.  
  
Shermie: Come on! I need big bucks! Big bucks, no whammies! STOP!  
  
Host: Stop on a "Double Whammy"!  
  
Shermie *shocked*: OH NO!  
  
*CG Whammy appears on screen, singing in Italian while tossing up pizza dough; actual pizza dough falls from the ceiling and lands on top of Shermie, followed by a pinch of flour; everyone in the audience starts laughing*  
  
Gekiganger 4 Team: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!  
  
Chris *laughing*: Oh man! That was priceless! I hope somebody recorded that!  
  
Kasumi: I did!  
  
Chris: Excellent!  
  
Meanwhile, in Hell, Goenitz and Rugal were watching "Whammy!" right when Shermie got nailed by pizza dough.  
  
Rugal: Hey Goenitz! What do you want on your disciple?  
  
Goenitz: Pepperoni and extra cheese!  
  
Rugal & Goenitz: HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!  
  
Goenitz: *holds up wine glass* A toast! To watching old underlings suffer!  
  
Rugal: Here here! *Rugal and Goenitz clang wine glasses together*  
  
Back on the show, frustrated after landing on a "Double Whammy" and having pizza dough land on her, Shermie decided to pass her remaining spins to Terry, hoping that he would also get a Double Whammy. Such would not be the case, however, as during the last two spins, Terry landed on the "$500" space and the "Gem Car" spot, and thus was the winner. Final total for Terry (including cash, a trip to the Bahamas, and the gem car): $16,500!  
  
Shingo: That was awesome! *to Chris* Too bad Shermie didn't win.  
  
Chris: *shrugs* I don't mind. It was worth it just to see pizza dough land on top of her.  
  
Outside of the Sony Pictures Studio in Los Angeles (the place where Whammy! was filmed), Ryo was trying to console Yuri after she lost.  
  
Ryo: Don't be too hard on yourself. You were playing for charity, after all, so you wouldn't have seen a dime of that money even if you had won.  
  
Yuri: I know, but I really wanted to win my own motorcycle.  
  
Ryo: Really? Did you ever think about what might've happened if you had gotten yourself into an accident? *shows Yuri pages of motorcycle accident victims out of the latest issue of Biker's Rag magazine*  
  
Yuri: Ugh! I never thought about that! *points to a picture of some twisted freak who was once a teenage beauty queen before colliding head-on with a Mack truck* I don't think I'll be getting a motorcycle if that's what's going to happen to me. Thanks for talking me out of getting a motorcycle.  
  
Ryo: No problem. Anything to keep my little sister safe. Let's go home. *the two hop on Ryo's motorcycle and head for home*  
  
A short distance away.  
  
Shermie *annoyed*: Oh, stop it already! It's not funny anymore.  
  
Vice: *snicker* I'm sorry. It's just that your expression when that big glob of pizza dough landed on top of you was so priceless.  
  
Yashiro: Look on the bright side: at least you gave everybody a good laugh.  
  
Shermie: Yes, but at the expense of my own pride, in front of millions of people. Not only that, I'm going to have to spend the next two hours getting flour and little bits of dough out of my hair.  
  
Mature: Don't feel too bad, Shermie; I'm sure this'll all blow over before the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament next week. For now, how about we all go get some pizza?  
  
Shermie: Very funny.  
  
Another short distance away, Terry was driving his newly won Gem Car all around town.  
  
Terry: YEE-HA! I finally got my own set of wheels! No more hitchhiking for me!  
  
Joe Higashi: Floor it, Terry! I want to see how fast this thing can go!  
  
Terry: Hang on tight! MAXIMUM OVERDRIVE! *slams foot on the gas pedal*  
  
Section 34- Garou Delivery Special  
  
4:40pm  
  
Out in the Todoh's backyard, the Gekiganger 4 team was training hard against one another. Suddenly.  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Kasumi! Shingo! Kula! Chris! Special delivery! All four of you got packages from some place called "Kagura Global Industries".  
  
Shingo *excited*: Those must be the jackets I had requested from Kagura- san! *runs inside and tears into his package* *gasps with glee* OH YES! It turned out better than I thought!  
  
*The Gekiganger 4 team jacket is a black leather jacket with the team insignia (a robot that looks similar to Mazinger Z) on the right-hand side of the jacket, and the word "Gekiganger 4" written on the back (in English and Kanji), both of which are in red.*  
  
Upon hearing Shingo's gleeful cheer, everyone else ran inside to see what the commotion was all about.  
  
Chris: Well, someone sounds very happy.  
  
Shingo: They sure do. Check out this jacket!  
  
Chris: Sweet! I gotta try mine on! *opens up package*  
  
Kasumi: These are awesome, and they fit nicely, too!  
  
Kula: *looks in a mirror* Wow! This jacket looks quite good on me! Now all I need are a pair of shades, and. *puts on K's sunglasses* TA-DA! I am Kula Diamond, the Gekiganger 4 team's resident badass!  
  
Shingo: Yes! And with that, the first phase of my plan is complete!  
  
Kasumi *confused*: Say what?  
  
Shingo: The jackets are incredibly nice and all, but if we want to become a real super-heroic team, we need to have more gear, like custom-made jumpsuits and two-way com links. Not only that, we're also going to have to look super-heroic. Chris, in order for you to be the team's comic relief, you need to start eating more; every superhero team has an overweight member who usually does something stupid.  
  
Chris: Excuse me?  
  
Shingo: And as for you, Kula, since you're the "badass" of the team, you need to have something that shows it, like a scar or an eye patch. But that's not all. *to Kasumi* After that, we're going to have to convince your dad to let us build a secret lair beneath the basement. We're probably going to have to dig pretty deep in order to be able to fit a giant robot down there.  
  
Kasumi *to Kula*: I think Shingo's gone off the deep end.  
  
Kula: Don't worry, I'll reel him back in. Chris, Kasumi, cover your eyes. *to Shingo* Hey Shingo! You want to see something cool?  
  
Shingo: Oh yes, especially if it's a giant robot!  
  
Kula: Then look directly into the red light. *pulls out memory eraser (a la Men In Black) and uses it to erase Shingo's memory of what happened thirty seconds ago*  
  
Kula: *to Chris and Kasumi* You can open your eyes now. *to Shingo* Who's your favorite ham-ham on Hamtaro?  
  
Shingo: I like Maxwell, since he's so smart and usually says something intelligent.  
  
Kasumi: Bijou. I just love how her voice sounds.  
  
Chris: Stan, simply because he's so laid back, yet all he wants to do is hook up with one of the fine honey hams.  
  
Kula: Pashmina. She's so sweet and kind, and I love how she takes care of Penelope.  
  
Shingo: *A-hem* Well, as I was saying, these jackets undoubtedly signify our unity as a team, and in order to prove ourselves worthy of being a team, we must continue training, if only to become stronger in both spirit and mind (and to prove to Kusanagi-san that I'm no second-stringer). Now, let's get back out there and show ourselves what we're made of.  
  
Kasumi: Now that's more like the Shingo I know.  
  
With that, the Gekiganger 4 team went back outside and resumed their training.  
  
Section 35- Misery Date (Part I): A Damn Shane  
  
6:00pm  
  
Upstairs, in the guest bedroom, Shingo was grooming himself in preparation for his trip to a nearby movie theatre.  
  
Shingo: All right! I'm ready for my big night out! *exits room and heads downstairs*  
  
Shingo: Bye guys! I'm off to the movies! See you in a few hours!  
  
Mrs. Todoh: Have a good time, Shingo!  
  
Chris: See ya!  
  
Kula: Later!  
  
Just as Shingo was about to head out the door, a shadowy figure appeared out of nowhere and pulled him into the living room.  
  
Mr. Todoh: You're not really going to see "Verbal Abuse" (the new thriller starring The Rock and Vin Diesel), are you? You're using it as an excuse to take my daughter out on a date. Is that right?  
  
Shingo *shocked*: Yes! But how did you know?!  
  
Mr. Todoh: Let's just say the reviews for "Verbal Abuse" didn't look very promising. I know what you're up to, and from now on, you're going to be hearing this a lot from me.  
  
Shingo: What's that?  
  
Mr. Todoh: Thank you. It's been so long since Kasumi's been on a real date. She's been so distraught ever since her first date with her then-boyfriend Shane Kirkpatrick.  
  
*cue flashback*  
  
Six months ago, in front of the fireplace in the Todoh's living room.  
  
Kasumi: Isn't it lovely in here? Just you, me, and the roaring fire to keep us company.  
  
Shane Kirkpatrick: Yeah, whatever. Where does your old man keep the beer?  
  
Kasumi *confused*: Uh, what?  
  
Shane: You know, booze, liquor, the good stuff. Where's it hidden?  
  
Kasumi: Aren't you a little too young to be drinking?  
  
Shane: No. In fact, the only reason why I wanted to date you was so that I could win a bet I had made with my friends.  
  
Kasumi *shocked*: WHAT?! But I thought you loved me!  
  
Shane: Me, love you? HA! You're too under-endowed for any loving. If you were are well-endowed as Mai Shiranui, maybe I'd think twice about you, but then again, I'd still have to look away from your hideous face.  
  
Kasumi: *anger rising* Why. you.!  
  
Shane: Oh look. Here come my friends now. *three of Shane's friends appear on the lawn* Hey guys! I won your stupid bet! You owe me $20 and a six- pack!  
  
Suddenly, Kasumi grabbed Shane by his shirt collar and repeatedly slammed him against the ground until he fell unconscious. Shortly after that, she opened the front door and tossed him out onto the lawn.  
  
Kasumi *enraged*: I can't believe you used me just so you could win a stupid bet! I've never been so insulted in my entire life!  
  
One of Shane's Friends: Yeah, well, get used to it, sister, because we're not through with you yet. Now that we know where you live, we're going to make your life a living hell!  
  
Just then, Mr. Todoh appeared out of nowhere and beat the tar out of the three punks.  
  
Mr. Todoh *angered*: And if any of you ever come around here again and mess with my daughter, I'll take my cans of beer and shove them straight up your asses!  
  
Shortly after the police took the four delinquents away.  
  
Mr. Todoh: Are you all right, Kasumi?  
  
Kasumi *saddened*: I don't get it. This was supposed to have been the happiest night of my life, and yet, my date turns out to be a sham, leaving me insulted and emotionally abused. I just don't get it. *starts crying*  
  
*end flashback*  
  
Mr. Todoh: Since that night, Kasumi has been unable to get a date, having been turned down by just about every male student at Harry Connick Jr. High School.  
  
Shingo *amazed*: My gosh, I never knew Kasumi had it so bad. Don't worry, Mr. Todoh, I'll make sure to take good care of her.  
  
Mr. Todoh: I know you will. If your training and determination are any indication of your dedication, then I'm sure she'll be in good hands with you.  
  
With that, Shingo exited the Todoh household and met Kasumi outside.  
  
Shingo: Sorry I'm late.  
  
Kasumi: Let me guess: Dad pulled you aside and gave you a little lecture?  
  
Shingo *surprised*: That's right! But how did you.?  
  
Kasumi: He has a tendency to do that to people (especially any salespeople). Shall we get going?  
  
Shingo: By all means.  
  
Shingo and Kasumi headed off into the city (via Taxi).  
  
Section 36- Misery Date (Part II): "Special" Operatives  
  
7:00pm  
  
At La Vache Brulante (a famous local French restaurant) in Southtown.  
  
Kasumi: I was wondering: what ever happened to Kyo Kusanagi after that Orochi ordeal?  
  
Shingo: Quite a bit, actually. Keep in mind that this is everything Kusanagi-san told me from his point of view, so it might sound a little inaccurate at times.  
  
*cue flashback*  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: Two years ago, following the battle with Orochi, Kusanagi-san emerged victorious, but collapsed from exhaustion after the fight. When he awoke, he found himself strapped to a wall in the middle of a dark laboratory.  
  
Kyo Kusanagi: What the?! Where the hell am I?!  
  
Mysterious Voice: Well now, I see yer awake.  
  
Kyo: Who the hell are you?  
  
Tex Dakota: Ah'm Tex Dakota, headmaster of N.E.S.T.S. Special Research, and yer in mah territory now, city boy. He-he-hew!  
  
Kyo: N.E.S.T.S., huh? Sounds like the name of an evil organization in a typical anime.  
  
Tex: Well, yer half-right. Th' only difference is we're real, and we've got big plans for ya, Kusanagi.  
  
Kyo: Like what?  
  
Tex: Like usin' yer DNA to create an unstoppable army of Kyo clones. Imagine, a Kyo clone in ev'ry household in America.  
  
Kyo: America, huh? What's wrong? Other parts of the world don't sound as pleasing?  
  
Tex: Shut yer pie hole! Furthermore, th' whole world'll be so sick and tired of seeing ya, they'll finally ignore ya and start focusin' on the other King Of Fighters contestants.  
  
Kyo: So that's your big plan for world domination? Sounds quite stupid. No matter how many copies you make of me, they'll never be as skilled as the real me.  
  
Tex: Oh, but we've got other plans fer usin' yer DNA. Fer now, Ah'm gonna withdraw a DNA sample outta ya.  
  
Kyo: And how are you going to do that? I don't even see a syringe in your hand.  
  
Tex: I'm not gonna be the one takin' yer DNA. *talks into walkie-talkie* Send in th' "special" operatives.  
  
As he spoke, sirens started flashing in the lab.  
  
Tex: Yer in fer it now, Kusanagi. Very few men have been able to withstand th' methods th' "special" operatives use. Ah'd pity you, but that'd make me a sissy boy.  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: At that moment, the "special" operatives entered the lab. There were five of them in all; each one was wearing a matching jumpsuit and cap. At the same time, the sirens gave way to techno music.  
  
Kyo *surprised*: What the ruck is this?!  
  
Tex: Oh, you'll see soon enough.  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: Just then, the five "special" operatives started dancing. About thirty seconds later, they removed their caps and jumpsuits, thus revealing what they were wearing underneath (all five of the operatives were wearing outfits from DoA 2; Operative One was dressed as Tina, Two was dressed as Lei-Fang, Three was dressed as Kasumi, Four was dressed as Ayane, and Five was dressed as Helena).  
  
Kyo: You think that little strip show's going to make me crack? Guess again! I've seen skimpier outfits on Mai Shiranui and Shermie.  
  
Tex: You may talk big, but we're only gettin' started.  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: A few more minutes passed, and Kusanagi-san was still holding strong. Just then, all the operatives removed their costumes, revealing skimpy bikinis (all except for Operative Three), while their dancing became more suggestive. Kusanagi-san was now barely holding on. Suddenly.  
  
Tex: Hold it! Operative Three, why haven't ya removed yer costume?!  
  
Operative Three: I refuse to expose myself in front of Mr. Kusanagi!  
  
Tex: Ah'm afraid ya have no say in the matter, l'il missy! Operatives One, Two, Four, and Five! Grab Operative Three and tear her costume off!  
  
Operative Three: No! Wait! Don't do it!  
  
Operative One: Sorry, Three. Boss's orders.  
  
All four operatives held Three down and tore off her costume, revealing a very skimpy bikini.  
  
Operative Three *embarrassed*: NOOOOOOO!!  
  
Kyo *barely holding on*: Forgive me, Yuki.. GWAAAAAH! *suffers nose bleed*  
  
Tex: YEEE-HAW! We got ourselves a gusher!  
  
Operative Four: Uh, sir, it's only a trickle.  
  
Tex: Don't ruin my moment, woman! *pulls out "Scientific Rag" and mops up Kyo's blood* *to Kyo* Thank ya kindly fer yer generous donation. Now, N.E.S.T.S. will be unstoppable! As fer you, Operative Three, you an' I are gonna have a little chat when ah get back. Ah'm gonna go celebrate in th' Commissary. Keep an eye on Kusanagi 'til ah get back. *exits lab*  
  
One minute later, after the Operatives got their jumpsuits back on.  
  
Operative Three *to Kyo*: I'm so sorry about that. If I had a choice, I wouldn't have exposed myself in front of you.  
  
Kyo: Don't worry about it. In fact, that was quite enjoyable. You've got a nice body, I'll tell you that. No wonder you didn't want to reveal yourself in front of me; you were afraid of outdoing your fellow Operatives.  
  
Operative Three: Thanks. Nonetheless, I'm going to make Tex pay for doing that to me. I'm freeing you from this hellhole and quitting N.E.S.T.S. at the same time!  
  
Operative One *shocked*: You can't be serious!  
  
Operative Three: Oh, but I am, and all four of you are going to help Kyo and I escape.  
  
Operative Two: Why should we?  
  
Operative Three: Would an autographed picture of Kyo Kusanagi change your minds?  
  
Operative Two: It certainly would!  
  
Operative Three: Great! *runs over to control panel and presses button that releases cuffs from Kyo* *walks over to Kyo and pulls out five 8 x 10 glossies and a marker* Mind signing these?  
  
Kyo: Not at all. *signs the five pictures*  
  
Operative Five: Hey Three! Isn't today N.E.S.T.S.' first annual Fashion Show?  
  
Operative Three: It sure is, and that's what Kyo and I are going to use to escape from N.E.S.T.S. We'd better get going to the Dressing Room before Tex gets back from his celebration.  
  
A few minutes later, inside of the Dressing Room.  
  
Operative Three: We'd better give you a new outfit.  
  
Kyo: Why? Because N.E.S.T.S. would be able to recognize me instantly?  
  
Operative Three: No, because your old outfit smells like a dead skunk. It's time you got yourself a clean set of clothes.  
  
Operative Four *while sifting through the racks*: I think I've found an ensemble that'll suit Mr. Kusanagi nicely. *hands outfit to Kyo*  
  
A couple minutes later.  
  
Kyo: Well, what do you think, ladies? *shows off new outfit*  
  
All Five Operatives: WOW!  
  
Operative Five: I think I'm in love!  
  
Operative One: I'd say that outfit suits you perfectly, Mr. Kusanagi.  
  
Operative Three: Looks like I'd better change clothes as well. *puts on a makeshift outfit consisting of a green t-shirt, black shorts, a plaid skirt, black gloves, a beige and purple jacket, and green and black sneakers*  
  
Operative Three: And now, for the final touch. *grabs a pair of scissors*  
  
Operative Two *shocked*: What are you doing, Three?! I thought you liked having long hair!  
  
Operative Three: That's what Tex says. Me, I like having my hair nice, short, and manageable. *gives herself a short haircut* There! *to Kyo* Ready for your big stage debut?  
  
Kyo: You bet I am! Let's give those snooty fashion critics something to write about!  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: Kusanagi-san and Three made their way backstage to the N.E.S.T.S. Fashion Show, while the other four operatives followed closely behind. On stage, the show was already in full swing, with wafer- thin models showing off N.E.S.T.S.' assorted line of clothes.  
  
Stage Manager *to Kyo and Three*: Where the heck have you two been?! Get out there and show them what you got! *shoves Kyo and Three onstage*  
  
Astrid Von Gutenburger: Welcome back to N.E.S.T.S.' First Annual Fashion Show, highlighting their 2000 lineup. Now appearing on stage is a lovely ensemble consisting of a white jacket with black zippers, a pair of stonewashed blue jeans, and. he's. running off the stage?!  
  
*audience "oohs" and "aahs" as they take pictures and as Kyo heads for the exit*  
  
Astrid Von Gutenburger: *Ahem!* Next up is a delightful t-shirt and skirt combination, and. she's also leaving the stage?! What the hell?!!  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: As Kusanagi-san and Three dashed for the exit, the other four operatives appeared on stage and threw out flash bombs, thus rendering the photographers' film useless. Making their way towards the exit of the N.E.S.T.S. compound, Kusanagi-san mowed down any and all N.E.S.T.S. agents that got in his way. Picking up a nightstick dropped by one of the guards, Three dealt out her fair share of damage to her former allies. Eventually, they found the exit (and an Acura Integra waiting for them). Their ride out, however, was blocked off by an angry Tex Dakota, who was packing heat.  
  
Tex: Hold it right there, varmint.  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: Just as Tex was about to finish his sentence, Kusanagi-san barbequed the Texan with his "Ura 108 Shiki Orochinagi DM". The duo then hopped inside the car and floored it out of the compound.  
  
Kyo: We're in the clear!  
  
Operative Three: *PHEW!* That was quite an adventure, huh?  
  
Kyo: Yeah! Where are we, anyways?  
  
Operative Three: Albany, New York.  
  
Kyo: Great. So I'm stuck a few thousand miles away from home in the middle of New York.  
  
Operative Three: Don't worry. My parents live not too far away from here (in Ithaca), so you can stay with them until you're able to get a flight home.  
  
Kyo: Sounds good to me. What's your real name, by the way?  
  
Operative Three: It's Moe, Moe Habana.  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: And that's how Kusanagi-san was able to escape the clutches of N.E.S.T.S. Coincidentally, that's also how he met Moe Habana and got his new outfit. You pretty much know the rest of the story (N.E.S.T.S. using Kusanagi-san's DNA to create K', the Kyo clones, Krizalid, and Kula Diamond). As for the other four operatives, well, no one outside of N.E.S.T.S. knows what really happened to them.  
  
Kasumi: Wait a second. Are you sure all of that was true? It all sounds pretty rich to me.  
  
Shingo: Kusanagi-san told me so, so it must be true.  
  
Kasumi: Perhaps, but if Moe helped rescue Kyo from that N.E.S.T.S. compound, why do you hate her so much? Oh! Now I remember! It's because Kyo kicked you off his team in favor of her. OOPS!  
  
Shingo *insulted*: You didn't have to remind me about that.  
  
Kasumi: Sorry about that, but look on the bright side: at least you're now the leader of your own team.  
  
Shingo: You're right! I should see this as a good thing since I've always wanted to have my own team. Besides, I can always get back at Moe during the KOF 2001 Tournament.  
  
Kasumi: That's the spirit, "Captain"!  
  
Section 37- Misery Date (Part III): Dated References  
  
7:55pm  
  
Back at the Todoh residence, Chris and Kula were watching the unaired final episode of the Tom Green Show. After showing a clip where he publicly humiliates Jared Neelick (his new assistant/fall guy), Tom did the one thing that got his show cancelled in the first place.  
  
Tom Green: SQUIRREL INTESTINES! *pulls out a bag of squirrel intestines and tosses them out to the audience; a bunch of armed guards suddenly rush the stage and arrest Tom for his heinous act*  
  
Chris: UGH! Now I see why MTV pulled the plug on his show.  
  
Kula: I'm bored. You want to go spy on Shingo and Kasumi?  
  
Chris: *shrugs* Sure, why not. Friday nights haven't been the same since ABC cancelled their "TGIF" lineup. Let's go!  
  
Chris and Kula headed out the door in pursuit of their other two teammates.  
  
Meanwhile, at Southtown Park, Benimaru Nikaido and Rosa Himura were taking a little night stroll around town.  
  
Rosa: Thanks for signing my copy of "Beauty To The Bone".  
  
Benimaru: You're welcome. I would've come sooner, but the last photo shoot ran a little longer than expected.  
  
Rosa: I never knew how diverse Southtown was until you showed me around. I always thought the whole city was one giant trash heap.  
  
Benimaru: Southtown IS essentially a junkyard, but much like any city, its few beautiful spots make it worth visiting. As for your troubles back home with King Lion's mercenaries, let it go for now. It's the weekend; time to live it up and lay back. Plus, you'll be fighting in the King Of Fighters 2001 tournament next week, so focus on that instead.  
  
Rosa: Thanks for caring, Benimaru. And yes, I am enjoying myself; it's not everyday I get to date a celebrity such as yourself.  
  
Benimaru: Aw, I'm no celebrity; I'm just a talented fighter with incredible beauty.  
  
Suddenly, something caught the eye of the couple.  
  
Rosa: Hey, isn't that Shingo and Kasumi on that park bench over there?  
  
Benimaru: It is, and they're dressed nicely, no less.  
  
Rosa: Could it be that they're on a date?  
  
Benimaru: Who knows? Let's go watch!  
  
The duo hid themselves behind a bush adjacent to where Shingo and Kasumi were sitting.  
  
A short distance away, Kula and Chris were closing in on where their teammates were.  
  
Kula: Are you sure this is where they went?  
  
Chris: I doubt they went to the movies. Verbal Abuse was universally panned by every film critic in America. Shermie and Yashiro would always escape to a nearby park whenever they wanted some time alone together, so I'm assuming they went to Southtown Park.  
  
Kula: Look! There they are!  
  
Chris: Heh! I knew it! Let's go grab some balcony seats.  
  
The two quietly shimmied up a nearby tree close by the young couple, and perched themselves on a branch hanging just above their two friends.  
  
Shingo: .so I handed K' a stick of beef jerky, and as he started chewing it, I told him it wasn't a Slim Jim- it was a dog treat! His reaction was so priceless!  
  
Kasumi: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! *Sigh!* I wanted to thank you for such a wonderful night out. This is the first time I've ever had an actual date that didn't end up being a disaster.  
  
Shingo: Aw, shucks! Don't mention it.  
  
*cue romantic music*  
  
Shingo: You know what? I've never seen you with your hair down before.  
  
Kasumi: Really? *removes braid, lets down hair* How's that?  
  
Shingo: Beautiful. You actually look nicer with your hair down.  
  
As the couple moved in to kiss each other.  
  
Chris *frightened*: AHH! TREE SLUG! *bumps into Kula; the two fall off the branch and land on top of Joe*  
  
Kasumi *startled*: *GASP!* That sounded like Chris!  
  
Joe: HEY! Watch where you're falling!  
  
*end romantic music*  
  
Kasumi *shocked*: Joe?! What the heck are you doing here?!  
  
Joe: I wanted to see how your date was going. And I would've seen it all, had those two miserable brats not fallen on top of me! *points to Kula and Chris*  
  
Shingo *shocked*: You two were spying on us the whole time?!  
  
Chris: Yeah, well, we weren't the only ones who were spying upon you two!  
  
Shingo *irritated*: That does it! Everyone who came here to spy on my date with Kasumi, leave! The party's over! GO HOME!  
  
Moments later, a bunch of people started emerging from various hiding spots (including Mary, Athena, Kensou, Leona, Mai, Andy, Joe, Benimaru, Rosa, and Yuri).  
  
Shingo *shocked*: But how did they know?!  
  
*Chizuru emerges from behind a tree, walks off while whistling, and runs off into the night*  
  
Leona: You're a louse, Shingo Yabuki. *leaves*  
  
Mai Shiranui *in cynical tone*: Nice going, Chris. Now I won't be able to see Shingo and Kasumi make out with one another! Let's go, Andy!  
  
Andy Bogard *tied up*: Untie me at once!  
  
Mai: Aw! You're so cute when you struggle! *grabs Andy and leaves*  
  
Kasumi *irritated*: Don't you people have anything better to do?!  
  
Yuri: Robert had to work overtime tonight, and it was this, or listen to another one of dad's rhetorical speeches. See ya! *leaves*  
  
Shingo *surprised*: Benimaru? You're dating Rosa Himura?!  
  
Benimaru: Yes I am.  
  
Kasumi: HA! Now we've got something we can use against you!  
  
Rosa: You'd better not spy on us. *pulls out sword* Unlike Kasumi, I'm armed and dangerous.  
  
Shortly after everyone left.  
  
Kasumi: *slams fist on the bench* Dammit! Dammit! DAMMIT! I was so close!  
  
Kula: This never would've happened had Chris not bumped into me!  
  
Chris: Hey, I can't help it if I'm afraid of slugs!  
  
Shingo: *SIGH!* What am I going to do with you two?  
  
Suddenly, a flyer flew into Shingo's face from out of nowhere.  
  
Shingo: *removes flyer from face and reads it* Hey! They're having a Dance Dance Revolution competition over at The Duck's Nest!  
  
Kasumi: Sounds like fun! Let's go!  
  
Kula: Well, I guess we'll be leaving, then.  
  
Shingo: Hold it! You two are coming with us.  
  
Kasumi: We're making sure you don't ruin anyone else's date.  
  
Chris: Fair enough. Anything's better than watching CBS's Friday night lineup.  
  
Section 38- Dance Dance Revolution: Spaz Mix  
  
8:30pm  
  
Outside of The Duck's Nest:  
  
Shingo: Aw nuts! Look at the line! We'll never get in at this rate!  
  
Chris: So, what's so unusual about a long club line?  
  
Kasumi: Once you make it to the head of the line at The Duck's Nest, one of the bouncers outside judge whether or not you're "cool" enough to enter the club.  
  
Kula: Cool, you say? *charges up icy powers and freezes everyone in line*  
  
Bouncer *frozen*: Now that's. cool. Welcome. to The. Duck's Nest. *opens door*  
  
Inside of The Duck's Nest, the atmosphere was thick with the sounds of thumping techno music and the sights of strobe lights, smoke machines and lasers.  
  
Kula: Aw yeah! This joint is jumping! I be ready to get my groove on the dance floor!  
  
*music suddenly stops; an uncomfortable silence fills the club*  
  
Duck King (the house DJ): Excuse me, little girl?  
  
Kula: Uh, I mean, let's party!  
  
Duck King: Much better. *resumes music*  
  
Kasumi: You've been watching too much BET again, haven't you?  
  
Kula: Yes.  
  
A few minutes later, Kula and Chris signed up for the Dance Dance Revolution competition.  
  
Chris: Hey. Aren't you two going to compete?  
  
Kasumi: No thanks. I think I'll sit this one out.  
  
Shingo: Same here. Besides, you and Kula have beaten me every time in Dance Dance Revolution, so I doubt I'd stand much of a chance here.  
  
Kasumi: Good luck! We'll be rooting for you from the sidelines.  
  
Four minutes later.  
  
Duck King: Listen up, ducklings! It's time for The Duck's Nests' Second Annual Dance Dance Revolution Showdown! The rules are simple: teams of two dancers will be battling against one another in order to get the highest score possible. Songs will be of my choosing, and whoever has the highest score at the end of the competition will go home $500.00 richer! Now, let's bring out the DDR-MAX 5000 machine and get this hoedown started!  
  
Shortly after the DDR-MAX 5000 machine was moved onto the dance floor.  
  
Duck King: First on deck is a pair of grooving girls who call themselves I.M.U.!  
  
As the competition wore on, dancers stepped up to the plate and fell by the wayside as many of the songs were nearly impossible to dance to. Only a few pairs were able to complete their songs, and thus, make it on the scoreboard.  
  
Duck King: Next up is a duo whose fast moves are as cool as their smooth grooves. Give it up for Speed Ice (Chris and Kula)!  
  
Drawing on their experience from past Dance Dance Revolution battles, Chris and Kula were able to groove their way through "Cruel Angel's Thesis- Techno Remix", and at the same time, rack up the highest score in the competition.  
  
Shingo *impressed*: Incredible! I knew they were good, but not THAT good!  
  
Duck King: Pretty impressive, Speed Ice, but let's see how well it stacks up against our last pair of competitors. When they're not mixing drinks at Illusions Bar & Grill, they're mixing it up on the dance floor. Let's hear it for last year's champions, Bombshell!  
  
Chris *shocked*: You're last year's DDR champions?!  
  
Sally: Yes, we are.  
  
Elizabeth: Stand aside, kids, and watch how real professionals get the job done.  
  
Duck King: Looks like Bombshell will have to back up their championship claim from last year, because they'll be dancing to insert impossible-to- dance-to techno song here!  
  
All Speed Ice could do was watch, as Bombshell nailed every beat as accurately as humanly possible. By the time the song had ended, Sally and Elizabeth had emerged victorious after shattering Chris and Kula's score.  
  
Kula *shocked*: How. how were you two able to keep up with such an impossible song?!  
  
Sally: Well, when we're not working, Elizabeth and I like to perform aerobics at Jim's Gym and practice our dance skills at nearby DDR machines.  
  
Elizabeth: Don't feel too bad. You've still got youth on your side, so keep practicing, and maybe you'll beat us next time.  
  
Duck King: And there you have it, people! The winner and still champion for the second year in a row: Bombshell! Let's also give a shout-out to Speed Ice, who gave a valiant effort against all other competitors. As runner- ups, you've each won $50.00 gift certificates to Sweet Dreams, the only 24- hour candy store in Southtown! And that's not all! Speed Ice, along with their two friends, Shingo Yabuki and Kasumi Todoh, will be competing in next week's King Of Fighters 2001 tournament! Good luck, kids, and give my regards to Terry Bogard and crew.  
  
Section 39- Kids In A Candy Store  
  
10:30pm  
  
After partying at the Duck's Nest, the Gekiganger 4 team stopped by Sweet Dreams in order to put their $100.00 in gift certificates to good use.  
  
Kula: Winning $500 would've been sweet, but winning a ton of candy is even sweeter, and the best part is it's all mine; from the apple bubble gum on down to the Zoobers.  
  
Shingo: Want some gummy frogs, Chris?  
  
Chris: No thanks. I don't like gummy candy.  
  
Kasumi: Why not?  
  
Chris: A couple punk kids stuck a bunch of gummy bears in my hair when I was 8. I had to give myself a hair cut in order to get them out. I was not a happy person after that.  
  
Kasumi: I can see why.  
  
Section 40- Last Call!  
  
10:58pm  
  
Outside of West Subway.  
  
Shingo *while running*: We've got to hurry! The last subway home leaves in two minutes!  
  
Running as fast as they could, the Gekiganger 4 team dashed down the stairs and through the halls of West Subway and managed to make it to their ride home with only a few seconds to spare.  
  
Shingo: PHEW! Made it! That was too close for comfort.  
  
Kasumi: This actually turned out to be a wonderful night out.  
  
Chris: I agree. I also had an excellent time this evening.  
  
Kula: You said it. It was fun being able to walk around the city without constantly being followed around by Diana and/or Foxy.  
  
Shingo *as narrator*: Ever since I entered the King Of Fighters '97 tournament, my teammates and friends have mocked me. They said I was just a Kusanagi fanboy, and that I didn't really belong here. Heck, even Kusanagi- san has made fun of me. Now that I have my own team, however, I finally feel. accepted.  
  
As the Gekiganger 4 team rode home, their thoughts focused on the upcoming King Of Fighters 2001 tournament. What challenges await them, and will they be able to withstand their trial by fire?  
  
TO BE CONTINUED.  
  
.and that's it for this epic chapter! And with that, I'd like to say thank you to Maria Ray, Vulpine Ninja, Mallow64, Chaser-Cya, Igatona, Jay, Seven Poisons, Anya Bolton, Box Turtle, Wendy Patry, Gunac, Leona Darina, Terry- Bogard, and Yung Burnout for all of their positive feedback on previous chapters. Thanks again, guys. Your feedback really means a lot to me, so send all comments to insaneben@yahoo.com.  
  
Here's where you, the reader, get to determine the future of what I do next. Should I:  
  
A) Continue the KOF 2001 EX series. B) Continue the KOF 2001 EX series, but make it a quick summary. C) Write a KOF 2002 fic and sum up the events of KOF 2001 within that story. D) Write a Benimaru x Xiangfei fanfic (I will do it if I get enough requests). E) Make the next KOF fanfic I write a complete surprise. F) Quit now and go back to writing the fifth chapter of Cell-Out.  
  
Send your votes to insaneben@yahoo.com! See ya next time! 


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